Testing Times

January has been a testing month for me.  The Gizmo saga was just one of many unhappy events that have occurred since Christmas.  Today I had a dental appointment.  Regular readers of this blog will know how traumatic a visit to the dentist is for me (and for many of you too).  I started to shake uncontrollably when the dentist hit a nerve and when I saw the contraption he was going to put in my mouth for an x-ray I almost went into meltdown!  Today was just a scale and polish and a check up but I know that there is a ticking time bomb in my mouth that I need to monitor over the coming months.  It seems that the back root (under a crown) has broken away and come up exposed through my gum.  I have no idea how much this will be to 'fix' (I couldn't face discussing this today) but I would imagine it will mean losing  the crown and tooth.  I am told that unless it is causing me problems to return in six months.  Today's visit was £50.00.  I went home with a pounding headache and backache from tensing myself in the chair.  Shortly after the receptionist from the surgery phoned me to say that the dentist had detected a filling I need to have done on another x-ray.  She said to return in about a month to have it done - it will be £50.00. 

Gizmo is healing nicely now but the blue bandage around his back leg (to prevent him from scratching out his stitches) lasted precisely two days.  We found the bandage intact behind the sofa like a discarded sock!  I just need to monitor him now to make sure that the neck wound doesn't open up again.  On Monday he needs to have half the stitches removed and then we need a further visit to have the remaining stitches removed.

The photo above was taken 9 days ago.  Pretty ice that had formed on a glass table outside in the garden.  I liked the way it was shimmering in the sunlight.  I am having to dig deep to look for 'happy' things at the moment.  Let's try:

• my Amaryllis plant has two buds on it
• I have the ingredients to make chocolate chip muffins 
• I have books to read
• January is nearly over!  Hooray!!!

I hope that February gives me some slack and time to process what has gone on in this whirlwind month. 

Today and Yesterday

Advanced warning!  Readers may find the second photo distressing as it is a close up of Gizmo's neck after the session with the vet yesterday.

I keep telling myself  'think nice thoughts'.  Doing so I can transport myself back to a beach in St Lucia 27 years ago.  The palms were swaying and I was sipping a Pina Colada from a coconut shell.   Carefree days looking out to the ocean, the pitons in the distance.........

Back to more recent events. Yesterday was another stressful day and my anxiety level was through the roof.  We took Gizmo back to the vet for our scheduled appointment.  Just before I put him in the carry basket I noticed that some of his stitches were missing, once again leaving a gaping hole.  Back at the vets he stapled the hole together and wrapped up Gizmo's back leg with a bandage to prevent him from scratching the stitches/staples out.  We were told that if it opened up after this time they would have to operate again.

This 're-consultation' and treatment cost an additional £91.57.  The bandage application excluding materials alone was £24.00.  Am I going mad?  We were with the vet for a maximum of 10 minutes and 5 minutes of that was spent with him taking Gizmo to another room to staple his neck.  It is not so much about the money (although we can't really afford these costs to go on much longer) it is more about the greed and lack of empathy that infuriates me most of all and the misdiagnosis in the first place (sprained leg) which has allowed the situation to escalate. 

The photo above is Gizmo today lying on my bed this morning.  He can't walk properly with his tightly bandaged leg and keeps trying to shake it off.  He was snoring when I took this photo and he must have been dreaming too as his whiskers were twitching.

This photo shows how he looked after seeing the vet yesterday.  How the hell did the vet expect all the stitches to stay in when they were so sparse in the first place?  I wonder how much it costs 'per stitch'!  Anyway I hope the staples hold out until out next vet visit on Wednesday evening.  I am scared that Gizmo will catch the staples on something and am paranoid if I can't see him for a few minutes in case he is scratching behind the furniture where I can't get access to him.

This recent experience has put me off having a pet ever again. 

Serenity - Hah!

I think that I was probably a bit too quick to come up with a word to live the year by.  As you may recall my word of choice was serenity and so far this year has been far from serene.  In that respect the word was a good choice because I am having to come up with outlets to help me achieve serenity and my newly rekindled love for Zentangle is helping me do just that.

I am still finding it hard to come to terms with what happened to Gizmo and am thankful that he is still with us.  I really must stop worrying about external factors that I cannot control and accept that these things are part of life and part of maturing and evolving as a person.

I took this photo of Gizmo yesterday.  It looks like a chunk of his right side is missing but it only looks so bad because his fur has been cut away.  Today he's been purring and trying to play a little bit.  He is eating and drinking well so they are both good signs.

Gizmo Post Op - Graphic Photo Warning!

This is how Gizmo looked when I brought him back from the vet's yesterday evening.  I was shocked to see that a lot of his fur had been shaved off and concerned that he didn't have any type of dressing over the wounds.  I think that people say it is best to get the air circulating around a cut but I am worried if he knocks himself and starts to bleed.

He is due to return to the vets on Monday and then at a later date to have the stitches removed. In the meantime he refuses to have his antibiotics and medicine no matter how hard I try to disguise them in his food. Oh well, lets hope that things improve as the day goes by. 

A big thank you for all your good wishes.  It really does help to know that people care. x

It Never Rains But it Pours

Isn't it strange how luck, good or bad, seems to come in a run of events.  Despite trying to remain upbeat this year (and I am really trying) things have not really been that great.

To update you with Gizmo, he has two nasty infected abscess's caused by a cat bite in the fight he had two weeks ago.  These bites were not discovered by the vet when he was initially checked over.  During the last couple of days I noticed that Gizmo was giving off a really nasty smell and looked unkempt around his lower neck area and on the back of his neck.  This morning I attempted to put him in the bath and gently wash those areas that had become matted.  He did not let me do this willingly and I was shocked when I discovered why.  As his fur parted under his neck I noticed a gaping wound. 

To cut a long and laborious story short, he has to go under general anaesthetic and the operation is tricky because the wound is near a jugular vein.

I had to sit down when the vet estimated that the bill will be around £700.  It is at times like this that I wish I'd had him insured.

Hard Frost

We have not had any snow where I am in the South East but at midday we still have a hard frost.  It is still, bitterly cold and sunny.  I am glad to have a cold spell in the winter months - my reasoning is that it gives the earth a chance to sleep and reawaken in the spring.  I also believe that it kills off any germs or bacteria that may be lurking!

I am trying to stay a step ahead this year and preparing for events before they arise as much as I can.  I am much too last minute about many things.  I am getting my health sorted out  this month and also feel the urge to put an emergency box together with groceries and 'essentials' such as candles, matches, soap.  I don't know why I feel the need to do this but I don't think it would do harm to have something like this in place.  If there were to be a catastrophic event where I was unable to leave the house at least I would have some supplies to tide me over.

I am thinking of logging my achievements each month at the end of the month here on the blog.  That way I can look back and see what I have done over the past year.  It may be something as small as the completion of reading a book, learning a new skill or as big as decluttering a room.  I think that doing this may spur me on to get things accomplished so I can say 'I did that'!

New Skill - Machine Sewing

I am not a fan of machine sewing.  Never really understood about loading and threading the bobbin and the mystery of the different types of sewing 'feet'.  Saying that, I have accumulated a few sewing machines over the years hoping that each one would lead to a new found love.

Anyway, an opportunity arose this week which was to attend free local sewing classes provided by our residents priority fund.   Here was a chance to make something and take the evidence home.  Literally a five minute walk from where I live I would have been a fool not to embrace the challenge.

After a morning's worth of guided tuition I sprung home with a pair of pyjama bottoms.  Who knew that sewing in elastic wasn't so difficult after all.  I look forward to another sewing class next month.  Could I have eventually caught the sewing bug?  That remains to be seen. :-)