Friday, 27 March 2015

Insignificant

When I was employed a line manager once said to me 'those that shout the loudest are the ones that get heard.' Although he didn't agree that that should be the case.  He was referring to the fact that I was always overlooked when it came to promotion or opportunities at work.  Somehow I thought my hard work and dedication would be 'found' rather than me having to spell it out loud and clear to everyone.  With this in mind, the older I get the more I find myself 'disappearing' and becoming more and more insignificant. Unless I shout out 'here I am' I might as well blend in with the furniture.  Not one of my in-laws remembered my Birthday.  Two of my longest standing 'friends' of over 20 years didn't acknowledge my Birthday either.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to be seen and heard.  I spend at least 35 hours a week on my own.  When I do see my significant other I am told that I am gullible, negative and attention seeking.  It is very difficult to keep my spirits up and feel a sense of worth when I am either being ignored or spoken to unkindly.  Yes, maybe I need to toughen up but it is difficult to change who you are just to fit in with other peoples expectations of what you should be.  I am not naturally loud or bubbly - the characteristics that seem to be desirable in today's society.

When feeling so small and insignificant, there is a great quote by Rumi to turn things around which is 'You are not a drop in the ocean.  You are the entire ocean in a drop.'  Now, there's a thought.

Sometimes I question, apart from having my son, if my life has filled any purpose at all?  I hope that it has.  Despite not having anything tangible at the moment to prove I am heading in the right direction I am quietly confident that positive things lie ahead for me.  I don't need to beat a drum or shout from the roof tops to make it so.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Marking a Birthday

I didn't want my Birthday to pass me by without recognition, so today I bought a Birthday cake for myself!  I won't eat it all of course as it will be shared, but just wanted to mark the occasion.  I bought a lovely bunch of daffodils and a new magazine.  I did buy myself some on line treats too so I will have something to look forward to.

Tonight I am having smoked salmon, rice and asparagus for my dinner.  It is just a shame that I forgot to buy any wine!  Oh well.  Cheers!
 

Saturday, 21 March 2015

What Did I Make?

After catching up with hours of extra sleep over the last few days I felt well rested and up for making something today. I have been wanting to make something from Linda Jones book called Creating Wire and Beaded Jewelry for some time now.  With supplies to the ready I started to make the units for the wiggly wire chain.  I had so much fun making this!  I used  pewter coloured Czech fire polished beads as an added point of interest to the design.  The units are work hardened on a steel block with a hammer before being linked together.  A bit tough on the wrist but only light pressure is needed.
I am very happy how my contemporary looking necklace turned out. It seems that silver is very me!

Friday, 20 March 2015

A Neglected Corner

The end of my garden has been untended to for quite some time.  Wind blown pots are scattered and weeds ramble up broken fences.  Today I had cause to venture to the bottom of the garden to see how my perlagoniums had over wintered in the greenhouse.  They didn't look good so I have cut them back hard.  Just outside the greenhouse is an old table with an array of broken china and abandoned pots.  I was surprised to see that despite neglect, pink hyacinths were popping up out of a crate and tiny blue muscari (behind the brown plastic pot in centre of photograph) were determined to see another spring.   I feel sad that I had cast them aside with no hope after they had finished flowering previously but happy they decided to grow despite less than perfect conditions. 

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Misdiagnosed

This super soft teddy bear throw has been a great source of comfort to me over the last couple of weeks. When my bones and muscles felt as though they were on fire, the gentle cushioning fibres have helped to induce me into a deep sleep.  This is a daytime sleep because nights are fitful; aching bones fighting with a suffocating duvet and a quenching thirst.

I've not been feeling well for quite a long time, perhaps 2-3 years - maybe longer.  I have put down the aches and pains and overwhelming tiredness down to hormones and my age.  I have self diagnosed and been inaccurate in my conclusion.

On visiting the GP I was expecting to be told that all the symptoms I was experiencing was an 'age thing' but instead have been referred to the rheumatology department at the hospital.  I now have to wait for an appointment before I can solve this 'mystery' illness.

I am stunned at how incapacitated I have become in just a week.  Reaching for a cup in a cupboard or pulling on a jacket have become feats in themselves.  I now have to find new ways of doing things and moving much more slowly than I am used to to prevent a flare up of achy joints.

I am hopeful that my health can be restored to normal and I can once again have freedom of movement which I took so much for granted.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Soft Summer

I love colour but colour doesn't love me.  I just look so wrong in rich, deep or vibrant colours.  With this in mind I have been doing a bit of research on personal colour analysis on the Internet.  One of the most popular theories is that we fit into 4 seasons of colours and these are subdivided into 3 further divisions making 12 'types' in total.  I tried out various on line tests and my colour always came out as Soft Summer  Click here to see a soft summer chart.  Surprisingly soft summer shades are quite dull and do not include hardly any yellow shade apart from soft chiffon which is the colour of the common primrose above.

For the past few years I have been feeling out of  kilter.  My wardrobe consists of mainly black and orange shades and deep purple none of which do anything for me.  I am slowly going to introduce the summer palette into my wardrobe over the coming months.  It is going to get a bit of getting used to the cool, soft and muted tones but on reflection, that is my personality!  As I read on one blogger's colour analysis site 'soft summer is not sunshine, it is the welcome relief of shade' and I certainly bring a lot of shade to my blog!

If you want to have a go yourself, google 'personal colour analysis' and take it from there.  I would be interested in knowing what you come out as!

Have a colourful weekend

Simone x
Edited : There is a link here to start you off but there are many sites on the Internet where you can find out 'your' colours.  It is quite an eye opener!!!

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Lovely Things from Blogging Friends

I have been fortunate to either win or buy lots of lovely things from bloggers over the years.  I have featured just a few of them above (which were in easy reach).  The latest gift received was from Ann - a lovingly made wooden heart with pyrographic detail that remains in its glassine envelope because I love glassine envelopes so much!  She has some pretty crocheted daffodil brooches on her blog at the moment which she is selling to raise money for the Marie Curie charity.  Please do go and have a look here.  She makes beautiful things.

Now on to the mini celebration kit giveaway.  I cut out equal sized pieces of paper and wrote down each name of the readers that wanted to participate.  I folded the papers over twice and then threw them over my left shoulder.  I had predetermined that the one fallen closest to me would be the winner........and the winner is.........magsmcc. 

Magsmcc, would you please forward your address details to me at simone.lindengrove@gmail.com and I will get your prize posted off to you.  Thank you to everyone that participated and letting me know what you enjoyed about reading my blog