Riding the Storm

I recognise that I am going through a difficult patch at the moment as many people are/do.  Sometimes I just feel like wallowing in a pity pit of despair as I go round and round in circles unable to make decisions, but there is a spark in me that is a fighter and today that spark was truly ignited.

At the weekend I informed the vineyard that I didn't feel able to continue volunteering there at the moment due to my current mindset and continuing coughs and colds and not knowing from one week to the next if I am able to attend the session or not.  A response I received from them today got me so angry and riled up, it confirmed to me that there is still life in the old cat yet! 

Now, I wasn't expecting them to beg me to stay but a few words to make me feel as though I was a valued member of the team would have been nice - I had been there since July 2011.  Instead I got a generic 'thank you for all your help' from admin and an 'exit' form to fill out.  AN EXIT FORM TO FILL OUT!!!  I am still fuming now.  This kind of insensitivity makes me now feel that my decision to leave was the correct one.  The exit form is an opportunity to leave feedback on the vineyard experience and I understand the usefulness in people saying why they wanted to leave but I think to send me an exit form less than two days after I informed them of my decision was too soon.  I am probably being over sensitive about this but a few kind words rather than an 'exit' form would have been appreciated and maybe even reversed my decision to leave.

Anyway,  I feel strangely invigorated by my indignation and ready to step forward with my one woman fight for all that I deem to be unjust!

Coming to Fruition

Following our grape harvest in the autumn, we finally have an end product.  After volunteering for almost 3 years at the vineyard it is nice to see hard work and dedication coming to fruition.  I hope our vines will continue to thrive and provide our community with a plentiful selection of wine over the coming years.

Wine from the vineyard, veg from the market garden, meat and eggs from the farm and fruit from the orchard.  What more could one want?

Pig Watch

On route to the vineyard I stopped to observe the resident pigs for a short while.  Blissfully unaware of what fate has in store for them, they make the most of their days the best they know how.  I could have watched them for ages but had to get on with the work I had set out to do.

I trudged along the rows between the vines turning over clumps of grass and weeding around the vine itself.  It was an arduous task as the clods of earth were heavy but there were a lot of volunteers so the job moved along quickly.  My feet were sinking in the mud and bothersome midges kept flying up towards my face.  My wellington boots were heavily laden with mud and I felt like a spaceman walking in slow motion.

Alongside the hedgerows there were some huge parasol mushrooms.  One volunteer took them home to cook and to try to grow some more by planting in his garden.  Sloe berries peppered the foliage with their deep jewel like colour - I must remember to collect some one day and turn into the sloe gin that I have acquired a taste for.

The next day I awoke to find a huge dome shaped lump on my leg with a bright red patch in the middle.  I think a gnat was the culprit but have no idea how it penetrated a thick pair of jeans worn under a dress!  A few people had mentioned that they were getting bitten at the vineyard and I guess that gnats were drawn to the bog like conditions.  Hazard's like this are all part of working in the great outdoors!  A small price to pay when there are so many riches to be gained from doing so.

On Trend

Don't you just hate the term 'on trend'?  A few years ago I bought the Keep Calm and Carry on poster from Barter books in Northumberland.  It was a facsimile of the original WWII poster.  I really liked the poster as I believed in its message plus it was something 'original'.  I placed the poster under perspex and gave it pride of place on the kitchen wall.  Today you see cheap copies of the message everywhere with Keep Calm and (insert message here) on mugs, coasters, T-shirts, notebooks etc. It has become 'on trend'.  I guess there is nothing wrong with that but for me it has diluted my enjoyment of the poster I have and it no longer feels 'exclusive'.

When things become 'fashionable' I somewhat perversely go off them.  I suppose I am a little bit arrogant as I want the things I have to be unique and feel special to me.  Do you ever feel like that? 

Something else in my life that has become 'on trend' is people wanting to volunteer at the vineyard.  The more the merrier most would say but for me it has lost its charm.  I much prefer to be a big fish (or even a small one) in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.  The more other people get involved and take over the more I take a back seat and lose interest.  I guess I want to feel needed and if I am not wanted I will go elsewhere.

Anyway, I just thought I would venture out on my soapbox today.  I haven't done that for a while and felt the need to air an opinion or two.

Grape Harvest

Yesterday was the very first harvest of grapes at the vineyard.  Enough yellow green Ortega grapes to make around 200 bottles of wine and one crate of rogue black grapes that were inadvertently planted in the wrong place.  I've not been to the vineyard for a couple of months so it was a nice surprise to find bunches of grapes among the vines.

I have been in a strange mood recently.  I don't know if having a cold for so many weeks has made me over sensitive but I have been getting far too emotional about things that shouldn't really matter.  In the real World I do not have a confidante and life can be a lonely struggle when you are misunderstood and have nobody to talk things over with.. Hopefully this is just a passing phase and I will be able to look at things more objectively over the coming days/weeks. 

Next week I will be attending a course on an introduction to business for women.  Maybe this will be the catalyst I need to stop pussyfooting around and actually focus on starting a business.  One way or another, I seriously need to start to generate an income rather than relying on fresh air and my husbands generosity to keep me going.

Footnote: volunteering may be a virtuous act but it does not provide food for the table (unless you pilfer a few grapes)!

Taffy

When life gets you down, indulge in a large bowl of New England salt water taffy.  It doesn't make your problems disappear but it does make you feel a whole lot better if only momentarily.

I had planned to write quite a cynical and negative post today.  Usually I write straight onto the blog but today I wrote into a word document with the idea of copying and pasting it over.  Well, the computer crashed and I lost everything.  Negative thoughts acknowledged and lost to the ether.  A good job really as I don't really want to alienate the few visitors I have left!

Suffice to say that the post was going to be about volunteering and how I seem to have done a turnaround in my attitude to the whole volunteering industry.  I will just leave it at that.  For now.

Market Garden

I was volunteering up at the market garden today.  Most of the work was done inside the poly tunnel sowing courgettes and squash and planting up tomato plants into the soil.  They are using the method of growing the tomatoes up twine that is suspended from above and buried beneath the tomato plant.   There are so many plants in the poly tunnel waiting to be planted outside, but in the meantime the plants that were sown straight into the earth outside are beginning to grow stronger. 

Our vegetable box scheme this year will include courgettes, tomatoes, broad beans, peas, potatoes, kale, cauliflower, carrots, beetroot, squash and sweetcorn to name but a few.  We are growing many varieties of each, and some heritage ones to.  I can't wait to see what the plants look like when they fruit as there aren't any pictures on the packets for guidance!

The black container above is filled with comfrey leaves.  These are to be used as plant food and were discovered on site.  Plant food for free!

As well as vegetables, we are growing lots of flowers to use as companion plants. These include different types of sunflowers, tagetes and marigolds.  All useful for the bees and insects and pretty to look at too. 

The Best Things in Life are Free

More than two years ago I asked on this blog if anyone had suggestions of employment for me based on what you know about me and my interests.  Many of you suggested doing voluntary work as a way into a new job.  Well, I have been volunteering for almost two years now on a regular basis.  There is still no paid work coming my way but I have gained so many riches from my experiences.  The wonderful scene above greets me as I walk towards the farm/vineyard/orchard/market garden/historic house etc.  Why pay to go to the Chelsea flower show when there is natural beauty on my doorstep (I still wouldn't mind going though!) and it is all for free!

The vineyard is a labour of love and we have yet to harvest any grapes.  We should be harvesting our first bunches in the late summer/autumn and magically turn them into bottles of organic wine.  The vineyard is looking to become bio dynamic using  various herbal preparations and return to the old ways by employing a draught horse for ploughing and farm labour.  I am sure he will become a valued member of the team.

There is so much happening in and around the farm land.  A new forest is going to be planted and we are going to get a cow and use her manure for bio dynamic preparations.  Students still come to the farm and look after the animals as part of their training purposes.  They get to handle a wide variety of animals such as rare breed pigs, sheep, horses, ducks, geese, chickens etc.

Today I did some voluntary work in the market garden.  I planted over 1000 seeds so hopefully some will crop up!  We are growing vegetables for an organic box scheme and if it takes off we could be supplying local businesses and restaurants.  There is so much going on I feel I could burst with happiness!  I truly have found my vocation working with lovely like minded people, doing varied, challenging and changing work, surrounded by nature; plants and animals.

Thank you to everybody who recommended that I try volunteering.  You have changed my life in a most positive way.

Keeping Busy

I thought I would pop by and say hello!  Although I haven't been commenting on blogs these last couple of weeks, I have been reading your posts and finding out what you have been getting  up to.  Since my last post I have been in the garden almost every day.  There is much to do; sowing, planting, pruning, weeding, digging, maintaining, changing things around etc.  There is much to keep me interested and busy.

Up at the vineyard I continue to maintain the vines once a week but have taken on a couple of other projects up there too.  I now volunteer for the newly formed market garden.  The purpose of the market garden is to grow organic vegetables up at the farm and offer them as part of a box scheme later in the year.  Last week I was sowing onions and runner beans as well as sunflowers and pot marigolds.  I have already learnt tips that professional market gardeners use and hope to implement them for my home grown vegetables too.

Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year too I was sad when a couple of things I had lined up to do didn't happen for various reasons one of which was bee keeping.  Well, the chance to learn bee keeping has come up again so I didn't hesitate in putting myself forward to be part off the 'bee team'!

I think that is all I have to say for the time being.  Cheerio for now!

Learning Curves

I took this photo a couple of weeks ago within the grounds of the area surrounding the vineyard.  The verdant, lush grass made a huge contrast to the slushy snow that greeted me yesterday at the same place.  Looking at the benches curved around the lake prompted me to think about curves and particularly about the learning curves I have been through these last couple of weeks.

I have been listening and watching a series of videos recently where eminent women speakers talk about a whole host of different topics from a feminine perspective. I was a little bit cynical and thought that it would ultimately be a waste of time but did it anyway!  Sunday's 'Telejam' was about how to create a connected (like-minded) community.   One particular quote I got from this was 'when you feel resistance to showing up, it is the time you SHOULD show up'.  Well, on Monday I didn't feel like showing up to the vineyard as it was snowing and cold and miserable but I decided to make the effort and go.  On this particular day we were given an expert's guidance on pruning the vines so it was worth going to glean his expertise.  It was also the day that I had to put my recently acquired emergency first aid training into action; a daunting prospect with an older volunteer lying prone and unconscious in the snow. I was the first person to reach her and gently shook her whilst repeating her name and she gradually regained consciousness.  All the other volunteers rallied around and with help I got her into the recovery position.  We covered her in our coats as she was unable to get up and contacted emergency services.  Less than a year ago I don't think that I would have been able to help.  I would have felt it was beyond my capabilities.  It seems I am 'evolving' much more rapidly than I had intended!!!

Winter Wonderland

The frost turned the area surrounding the farm and vineyard into a winter wonderland. The trees and wild flowers were covered with the delicate touch of Mother Nature's frosting.

A stunning picture postcard scene with an ethereal atmosphere.  The vineyard volunteers posed for a photograph to capture the memory of the day.  The date was 12.12.12 and the photo was taken at 12.12.  How spooky is that?

Gloves

The vineyard where I volunteer is a community vineyard.  The vineyard project caters for people of all abilities and all walks of life.  Occasionally we have people from the corporate sector who come for ‘team building’ exercises but more often than not we have various groups with learning difficulties that come up to help out with various tasks.

Recently up at the vineyard I lost my gardening gloves.  I approached one of the team to ask if she would keep a look out for them.  She had a team of men with her that all had varying degrees of disabilities and she asked them to let her know if they found Simone’s  gloves whilst walking up and down the rows of vines.  A short, dark, stocky man was most distraught to think that I had lost something and had to be reassured by my colleague that it was fine and not something to get upset about.

Glove less, I continued tending to the vines, tying the stems to the stakes and discarding leaves below the first wire.  I soon forgot about the gloves as I methodically worked my way up and down the rows.

In the distance I could hear someone shouting my name ‘Simone, Simone!’  As I looked up a large, shadowy figure came running towards me.  This huge man had a beaming smile as he approached with his arms outstretched and handed me my gloves.  As I thanked him, I could sense his pride and joy at finding the ‘treasure’.

As he returned to join the group with a spring in his step, I wiped a tear from my eye before putting the gloves back on and returning to work.

Thank You

Thank you to all my blogging friends for your kind and supportive comments on my last post.  They really helped to lift me up and put life into perspective again.  When I am feeling down I tend to retreat into myself and from experience, that isn't a good thing to do.  As I had neglected my volunteering duties at the vineyard for a few weeks, I decided that today was the day to reconnect with the land and the like-minded souls who tend the vines.  I spent a useful 3 hours tying the vines to stakes, pruning and generally maintaining each vine.  It felt good.  It felt good to have purpose again. 

A Day in the Life of a Volunteer

This grand and recently renovated mansion stands in the grounds of the vineyard where I do my voluntary work.  I think it is due to open up to visitors in time for the forthcoming Olympic games.

Yesterday I woke early, got showered and dressed, had breakfast, fed hens and Gizmo, made a packed lunch (well, cut off a chunk of cheese, gathered some Ryvita biscuits, a banana and a bottle of water), picked up the badges and brooches to donate for the fund raising at the lambing weekend and set off on my long walk to the vineyard.

As I approached the vineyard I noticed early morning risers jogging around the grounds of the mansion.  It was a beautiful day despite terrible weather being forecast!  I walked up to Warren field past the pigs and chickens and spent a couple of hours pruning the vines and weeding around them along with about 7 other enthusiastic volunteers, with a short intermission for a tea break.  We then collected up stray guards (used to protect the base of the vines from being eaten by rabbits and muntjacs) and any metal rods that were laying around so that the tractor doesn't go over them.  We had a productive morning's work and my aching body was testimony to the physical work I had done.

Back at the cottage, which is our meeting point, we stopped to eat lunch.  I showed a few of the volunteers the things I had  made for the fund raising and was encouraged by their positive comments.  The morning's work at the vineyard completed for the day, I was now to embark on something else for the afternoon.

At 2.00pm I joined five other women for a willow weaving session.  Now, this wasn't a relaxing willow weaving session as I had done once previously.  This was a willow weaving session to make items to sell for the upcoming lambing event at the weekend!  I said I didn't feel confident enough to make items to sell but was told that there would be people there to guide me.  After two hours of intense concentration I produced a five foot tall pea support!  I wasn't entirely happy at working under pressure and once I had made the support I didn't give it a second glance and I packed up to go home leaving the others to continue to produce more things to sell!

Tired and cold, I started off on the long walk home contemplating what I was going to do for dinner that evening.

I am looking forward to my session at the vineyard next week but I don't care if I see willow any time soon!

Mothers Pride

I was volunteering up at the vineyard today.  At the attached farm, I was lucky to be able to see the lambs that were born last night. Two different breeds of sheep each had twins.  This picture is very yellow as it was taken in the darkness of the barn with just a shaft of light shining through.  The little lamb above seemed a bit quiet and still for my liking but its Mum gave it a little nudge with her head and it was soon on its feet and moving around.  I was pleased that they have not been affected with the disease that has been making the headlines recently.

A Little More Festive

The house is slowly getting decorated for the festive season.  The tree went up and a garland went over the fireplace at the weekend.  I will gradually add to the decorations over the coming week.

I attended a personal development course today as part of a course on working in the voluntary sector.  We had to individually stand up in front of the group and talk about the personal achievements of the person we had been partnered up with.  Afterwards we were put into groups and members of the group had to say what our strengths were.  I was told that my strength  was the fact that I was very composed whilst giving my presentation.  Me composed?  I chuckled inwardly as I hate public speaking and felt very nervous about standing up and talking in front of a group of strangers.  Isn't it funny how we are perceived by others?

From now on I am going to be very 'composed' in the run up to Christmas and keep my ruffled feathers under wraps.

I Heard it Through the Grapevine

Congratulations to all of you that correctly guessed that my voluntary work is at a vineyard!  Within farmland, it is in a wonderful setting where I could see anything from alpacas to shire horses, chickens to sheep and pigs  to goslings.  The wildlife is abundant and I hope to have many photo opportunities over the coming weeks.

I am very excited by this community project.  Apparently there hasn't been a vineyard here since medieval times.  The vineyard will provide organically grown grapes including Bacchus and Pinot Noir to provide wine to consumers across London.  As the wine will be organic we cannot treat the area with chemicals therefore we have to use a lot of hard graft weeding by hand.  Unfortunately we will not see the fruits of our labour for another couple of years as the project is in its infancy.

This naughty saddle back piglet escaped out of his enclosure today and was running up and down between the rows of vines!  Yes we have entertainment here too!

Wistful

I am feeling wistful today.  It seems that summer has bypassed me once again.  I didn't get to go strawberry picking, visit a beach or even lick an ice cream.  My earlier intentions for a garden 'full of flowers' didn't materialise and most of the plants in the garden have now gone to seed.  Next year I won't 'wait' for summer.  I will just make the most of each sunny day as and when it comes.

My voluntary work keeps me close to nature and I will be able to witness the changing seasons around me.  I will give you a clue as to what my voluntary work involves : my favourite work of fiction, ever, is 'The Grapes of Wrath'.  Any ideas?

Along the Way

As mentioned in a previous post, I have taken up some voluntary work.  I wont reveal what I am doing just yet. but I meet these lovely ducks en route.  Their antics make me smile!