Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Sent to Coventry

Periodically, I feel that my blog isn't making its mark. These feelings of 'could do better' tend to magnify when people stop visiting let alone comment on my blog. I know the saying 'can't please all of the people all of the time' but I do like to try.

There was a time when loads of people with an interest in vintage things came to visit, I am not particularly into vintage and unsure as to why they came, although I do appreciate items that are well made and that have an interesting history to them. For example, I inherited the one eyed Teddy and doll in the photo above. I have a family connection to them so they mean something to me. The 'vintage' visitors tailed off when they became aware that my blog wasn't really about vintage items.

A few posts back I spoke about finding a belief system that fitted in with my ideas and lifestyle. I didn't mention what the belief system was because I didn't want to make anyone feel unwelcome here. Strangely, since that post quite a few people who make their faith publicly known on their blogs stopped visiting me.

Then we have the bloggers that are into their fabrics, crochet and baking but they too have found blogs more akin to their interests and hobbies and are not so interested in visiting.

Each day more and more people are starting up their own blogs. I am now a small fish in a very big pond, and I am floundering.

I try to comment regularly on other peoples posts as I believe that blogging is a two way communication and it is nice to have feedback or know where you are going 'wrong'.

As I am writing this it is becoming apparent to me that people may not 'get' me. I don't write in a chirpy, extroverted, happy style because that isn't me. I could put on a fake persona and I know that my comments would soar, but that is not me.

This is me. I talk from the heart. My blog isn't exhilarating but I hope it is gentle and informative. I don't wish to blog for bloggings sake but I want to blog to be part of a community even if I don't know what part of the community that is just yet.

As people are ostracised in the workplace, I feel they can be ostracised in blogging. I am sure Coventry is a very nice place but it is not somewhere I wish to stay.


summerfete said...

Everything you said is true!

There are so many blogs now, its hard to get noticed.

I like to think we have the sameish
outlook on life, blogs that only report neverending happiness are toooo prissy to be true!!

I am also having a mid-creative crisis, trying to work out what I should concentrate on, when really I just want to be an artist!

I do like your cookery bits!

Chin up love!


Rosie said...

I understand what you mean Simone, I feel as if I don't fit into any particular category of blog, either. Sometimes I write something that I think is really interesting and have very few comments; another time I write something that to me seems dull and I get more comments! I've been writing my blog over five years now and feel I'm going around in circles and repeating myself- other bloggers are writing about the same things and the same places as I wrote about when I first started so we go round in ever increasing circles - sometimes I feel like packing in - but then I get comments from wonderful bloggers like you and feel encouraged to carry on:) Take carexx

Green thumb said...

..I'm not into vintage, crochet, fabric, baking, gardening, shopping,etc and above all I'm a stranger...may I come to Coventry with you?! :)
I love your intelligence Simone!
You don't need to please anyone, just be yourself!

Green thumb said...

P.S. I was meaning foreigner not stranger..sorry :)

greenrabbitdesigns said...

Be true to yourself Simone and blog about what YOU want!
I always enjoy visiting you and 'hearing' what you have to say!
There are so many blogs out there and a great many with no substance whatsoever.
Like Clare I always enjoy your cookery. Your gardening posts are lovely, along with your fox tails and of course the adventures of Gizmo! You have a lot to offer. :)
Keep going!
Vivienne x

Kathy said...

I get fed up reading blogs that are all the same ... all vintage goodies and crochet and sunshine.... everything in the garden is happy, happy, happy!!! Well, my life's not always like that, is yours?
I love reading your blog Simone, because I never know what it will be about, and you make me think!
I started to blog for myself really
and I use it as a sort of journal. I'm still surprised that people have found me and leave lovely comments!
Don't give up ... just please yourself!
Love Kathy xxx

Julie Rutter said...

Well I guess I'm one of the new bloggers that's getting in the way and that must be so frustrating. But for a new blogger like me it's lovely to have the 'old-hands' around - especially when they are welcoming, friendly and encouraging.
I always find what you write interesting and I think there's a lot to be said for being yourself and writing whatever suits you best. Juliex

magsmcc said...

Wel Simone, here are the two reasons why I have not commented in a while, despite the fact that I relish each and every post you write. 1. It is not always that I feel worthy enough to comment- I feel that a lot of what I read in many blogs is so superior to where and who I am that it would be inappropriate to call. How's that for baggage?! 2. I still haven't posted your Cafes of Kilkenny card. I still haven't posted anybody's Cafes of Kilkeny card. I'll have to put Christmas stamps on them soon.

What I love about your blog: Friday cake bakes, amazing photography, gentle, honest, inspiring wisdom, life.

KC'sCourt! said...

As someone said to me once "it's your blog, you do what you like with it!" I know exactly what you mean though I feel I don't fit in anywhere either. I decided when I started my blog I couldn't please all the people who read it. So as Green Thumb says can I join you in Coventry.
Your blog is wonderful and very interesting.
Julie xxxxxxx

Hen said...

Oh dear! I know what you mean about the comments, it can be frustrating. I see the figures for how many people visit my blog yet get a tiny fraction of this number in comments which puzzles me/sometimes depresses me. Somebody once told me though that they were too shy to comment or didn't feel they belonged to the "group" which made me look at things afresh. I just try not to let it get me down. Blogging is a very time consuming business so it's nice when people acknowledge that and comment. I confess I do not comment myself as much as I should but I do think if you have your own blog you have a bit more of a justification as the blogging itself takes up so much time!
You are loved and appreciated, do keep going!
Hen x

Scented Sweetpeas said...

I love reading your blog but don't get to comment all of the time due to children and also my RSI which I am pretending i don't have :-)

Rosie said...

Well I've been visiting your blog for quite a while now as you know and I enjoying hearing what you have to say.I look forward to hearing about Gizmo or what you have been cooking. It would be sad if everyone was the same. Don't give up, at least you get more comments than I do! xxxx

pamela said...

I agree with much that is said here in response to your expressive and emotive post. Like Julie I'm new to blogging but admire and enjoy a wide range of blogs, and actively search for those covering subjects outside of my experience and skills in order to enrich the experience. Please keep doing what you're doing! You're posts are so interesting. You are the 'quiet centre' in the hub of the blogosphere. I spent a long time 'lurking' before I found the courage to leave comments. I'm just developing my 'voice' for doing so regularly, and it takes time, and a bit of organisation to do so! And finally thank you so very much Simone for commenting on my new blog I was over the moon!

pamela x x x

cathleen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ellouise88 said...

I must admit I find blogs (and some people) who are always cheerful and contantly say everything is wonderful, rather irritating.

Keep going dear; I'm back reading again after rather a trying summer and I'm sure things will settle down into a routine again for most people now that those dark evenings are upon us again!

I only tend to comment when I feel I have something interesting to say!!

marigold jam said...

Thank you for visiting my blog so that I could check out yours - I love what I find and I do so agree with what you say in this post. I wonder if it is like being in a large group of people when there are always those who are confident and come up and speak and then there are others who are interested in what we have to say but who are quiet themselves so don't say anything. It is strange why some blogs seem to get loads of comments and others - often more interesting - who get few. In my own blog I sometimes seem to touch a nerve and get loads of comments and then again there are posts which have not been of interest to many and I don't understand why. I could sometimes come to Coventry with you too! It is also quite sad when the number of followers goes down and I wonder why and whether I have done something to upset anyone - but in the end I guess they are our blogs and we should write whatever we wish (obviously without deliberately causing offence or upset to anyone) and if people like it all well and good and if not so be it. I will be visiting you again as I like your honest and varied approach - real life is like that and we don't always have to agree with a friend's opinions anyway do we?


Louise said...

Just being me is what my blog is all about. Quality not quantity is what it's all about these days. Just stay true to yourself Simone. x

andamento said...

Hi Simone,
I still visit every post! I don't always comment as sometimes I'm a little short of time. If it's any consolation you regularly get more comments than me. You are indeed one of my most regular commentators and for that I am very thankful, I will try and be better myself as I know I certainly appreciate when people take time to leave a message no matter how short. I like how your blog is a little different, though I do sometimes wonder how your chickens are getting on as it was a chicken & garden post that first drew me to you, at least I think it was, do you have chickens?!
One thing I have been meaning to comment to you about is learning to cycle, here a a couple of websites which may be of some help: & Getting out and about in the fresh air is definitely good for the soul and cycling is one of the best ways to do it, even if you have to drive/take the train to get to a decent starting point. Do you think it's something you might try?

amanda claire said...

Well I, for one, love the random, heartfelt posts you write. I don't want to read constantly happy, chirpy posts about just one or two topics. I am a person with a huge amount of interest in a wide variety of things (you just have to look at the random topics I have posted on before to know that!)

I know what you are saying though. Some people have tons of readers and commentors and then there's those of us who don't. I am lucky if I get one or two comments per post, but I am still happy to let my thoughts spill out. Doesn't mean I don't have comment envy, I'm only human, you know, but I think I'd rather visit a blog like yours and read about whatever is happening in your life right now rather than something that has been chosen just to fit in to a particular topic box.

You keep up the good work... I like your blog (and you) just as you are xx

Vintage Tea Time said...

This was my first visit to your blog - so I can't really comment on your previous posts - well, I could go back and read lots, but....time..... Interesting what you have posted today though. I'm a very new blogger....still finding my way. I guess some people post 'happy, happy' posts because (a) their lives really are like that (!), (b) because they think people will be 'brought down' by / or disinterested in bad news?, (c) because they know their mum reads the blog and they don't want her to know they've had a row with hubby... Sorry, that's my tendency - to get flippant.
Keep posting!

Carol said...

Oh blimey Simone!!!
Everyone feels like this from time to time. It is Normal...believe me.
I feel like I am a bad blogger when I have not visited some blogs that I want to but time just goes and then before I know I have missed several posts!
Try not to think to much into it all. There will always be just a few who will always be there for you but maybe not all the time.
There are no rules on posting just do what YOU want...let people take it or leave it, it matters not....not really, does it!?
Louise said it right, be true to yourself.
I love to hear from you and to pop into you.
I guess we all like getting comments but I know some just like to look and move on and that is fine too.
I did get the hump once and turned my comments off which I found very liberating but then I missed them after a short while.
ohhh I want to give you a big fat hug.
You smile Simone your are A Very Lovely Lady.
Big hugs and kisses to you.
Carol xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Judy Hartman said...

I have your blog on my "favorites" list and love your writing! I'm pretty disorganized, so I don't always leave comments. Actually, I'm feeling the same thing a bit - not so many comments on my blog either, but I do enjoy writing it!
Did I tell you I dreamed about you one night, and I've never seen a picture of you! You had blonde hair. I can't even recall the dream, but thought it was funny when I woke up!
Take care,

The Girl said...

I would try not to think about it too much. All blogs evolve and change, if I think back to when I first started blogging years and years ago I could cringe. And I've changed and evolved in the past year or so, and especially in the past few months. I think we all go through peaks and troughs.

As for the lack of comments, I think that's a balance we all struggle with. Sometimes there is no way of knowing whether people are going to comment or not and sometimes it can be disappointing when people don't comment but I tend to ask myself why - maybe the post just doesn't leave people open to comment. sometimes you can read something and think "That's very nice" but just not have anything to say in response!

I've said this to a few people - you have to blog for you. You have to blog in a style that suits you and about topics you want to - if you try and change what is your natural style it will feel forced and people will definitely pick up on that. As for people with 'happy' blogs - that's their style, that's what they choose to blog about, they probably don't want to sit and rant and talk about the bad things in their life - as I say, everyone finds their own way.

So I guess your choices are - continue to blog how you want to blog and accept that people might not comment as often as you might like them to or change your blogging style and get validation.

*✿* millie meadowsweet *✿* said...

i think your blog is one of the best! always interesting, eclectic, good looking! and written with a warm, thoughtful, intelligent voice sprinkled with gentle humour. i love love love it!!!!! it it always one of the first (if not the first) i look for and i am never (underline that) dissapointed.
i also love the diversity, the fact you are not a one track (i.e. vintage) pony.
you don't realise just how many of my days you have brightened (and i am sure lots of other peeps would say the same).
when blogs have loads and loads of comments their authors (conciously or not) are employing business tactics, it has nothing to do with talent or even charm. you have both those qualites in abundance.
fear not my are doing an excellent job and i hope you decide to keep it up dor a long long time.

warmest hugs xoxoxox

*✿* millie meadowsweet *✿* said...

p.s i used to have a black baby doll (with a lovely outfit knitted by my nan) i called her emma and she was supposed to say mama when tilted, but she just said an eerie mmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

haha!! word verification says: ummum (lol)

Teresa said...

Oh, Simone, dear... don't worry about it. We like you just as you are and certainly don't want you to feel you must be someone else. I've heard it said that the highest form of love is to let someone be themselves. I think there's a lot of truth in that. We don't all have to agree ... but we can still be friends and hopefully bring some joy and a smile to those we meet along life's way.

Yarrow said...

Oh wow, I totally get you and what you're saying here. I often feel the same way about my blogs. Someone told me that for every 10 people who visit a blog, only 1 will leave a comment. I felt better then :D Also, I sometimes keep my faith to myself as I wouldn't like people in my village to know everything about me, and a few of them stumbled on my blog. Mind you, the clues are there if they care to guess :D

Ali said...

I'm still visiting (though in catch-up mode as you can tell from the fact I am two posts behind on leaving comments!).

Don't get sucked into the comments=popularity trap. Because we could all do loads of giveaways and have a bazillion meaningless comments.

I always think, far better to have a few thoughtful comments and real relationships with the people who leave them. Don't take it personally and remember you probably started your blog for you - actually, your blog doesn't have to make a mark, it just has to make you happy. In which ever way you choose.

And as an aside, November is always a hideous month for comments because folks are doing Nablopomo and are too busy writing and getting swamped by all the extra posts in their readers.

Lyn said...

right Im going to throw my two penn'orth in now!
Its your blog and you write about what ever YOU want too! I love your blog its honest and interesting and looks good. I too have neglected both my own and reading/commenting on others so you are not alone, life does get in the way and blogging can take up so much time. Keep going Simone.

periwinkle said...

Have you ever had so many comments? I always read but do not always comment - to be honest sometimes I just don't know what to say. I once thought about stopping my Blog and someone told me that is was a diary for me alone , if other people don't like it then tough!! You just keep on doing what you are doing :-)

sweetmyrtle said...

hi simone,
i have just read this and i think from time to time we may all feel a little alone in this big internet sea. the nature of blogs and visitors is that they evolve, new folk come, others go. i however do still feel a strong connection with all the folk i started blogging with. Please remember that you are YOU, unique and lovely and that is why folk visit here. your blog is gentle and friendly and at times extremely thought provoking. i really like your new layout too.

wishing you a happy evening , warmest
Ginny x