Be Your Own Guru

I have spent years searching for someone to look up to, to inspire me and teach me.  When I left primary school back in the early 1970's my form tutor wrote down a  personal message for each individual child to read and live their life by.  To me he wrote and said 'seek and you shall find'. 

A lifelong quest, I have been searching for my life purpose ever since keeping an eye out for people to guide me who I aspire to be like.  I have been slow to realise that many of the things I seek are within me.  I don't need to go on a journey looking for outside mentors.  I am my own mentor.

Many of us think we are not good enough or other people are better or more worthy of praise and adulation.  Why do we put these self imposed restrictions on our thoughts?  I think we have been conditioned by society to be self-effacing.  In addition I am born of a time when children were to be seen and not heard. 

I no longer feel the need to find a person to stand on a pedestal.  I am my own guru and will learn from my own life experiences and be guided by them.

Catching Up

I thought I would drop by before you forget me.  It is a sobering thought to know how quick we are forgotten and replaced by other interests and priorities.  One reason for my absence is my time has been taken up with selling on line - choosing, photographing, uploading, weighing, wrapping, going to Post Office etc.  As I don't have a job I am looking for ways to earn an income and selling my outgrown or less loved items is a way of generating some pin money.  The little rag doll above was bought on a whim a few years back but she spends her time packed away so it is time to let her go.

October is fast approaching and I feel like I am being swept along the year.  I have so many projects I want to start and a couple of new hobbies to try too. The trouble is I am never in the right frame of mind to do anything.  Today in particular I feel so lethargic.  I hope this is temporary.

Last week I revisited an old haunt - the vineyard.  I've not been for a few years and I went to help out with the harvest, volunteering on a couple of days.  We worked in pairs and chatted our way along the rows snipping off the bunches of grapes - Ortega and Pinot Meunier.  There is still grapes to be picked over the next month but I doubt I will return.  It was a non profit organisation when I started back in 2011 but it has become very corporate and doesn't feel the same to me anymore.  It was back breaking work and I wondered why I was even there (apart from catching up with an old familiar face.)

That is all I have to say for now.  I hope that Saturday is dry.  I have windfalls to collect, leaves to be swept and a general garden tidy up is required.