Sunday, 8 February 2009

Game Over?

I started a blog after reading other people's and then leaving comments for over a year. At first I was excited. I liked the fact that I could be whoever and whatever I chose to be. I liked the anonymity of it all. Who am I? Does anyone truly know? Have I given my identity away? I so wanted to be someone else through my blog but I guess in the end the truth will out.

I have never shown a picture of myself in blogland so I cannot be judged on how I look. However, I can be judged on how I write and what I choose to write about. I tend to write as I am thinking and from the heart though I do try to be careful about what I am saying so not to cause offence.

During my time in blogland I have seen blogs come and go and some even come back again. I have noticed that there are certain cliques of bloggers and I have never really enjoyed being part of a clique. At the same time I feel like an outcast for not joining in on swaps or wanting to be part of awards and tags etc. I am consumed with guilt for not wanting to take part and at the same time wanting to be popular and accepted by other bloggers.

What blog genre do I fit into? I suppose I want to be taken seriously, viewed as a person with credibility and kudos, but whatever I say on here doesn't change who I am or where I am from. I yearn for the country living 'lifestyle'. I would love to have been a business woman who 'has it all'. The truth is..... I'm a mess.

I am such small fry in the sea of bloggers and often feel as though I am swimming against the tide. I don't know what is expected of me. I don't know where 'Linden Grove's' future lies, but for now I am going to pull the plug. Game over.


April said...

I have always enjoyed reading your blog and I appreciate that you speak from the heart and your honesty shines through.

Be who you want to be and I hope you find what you are looking for

I shall miss you

April xx

Sal said...

Oh no..don't go've been one of my loveliest, regular visitors.
I think your blog is lovely.
Not only that, you might not have done tags(I hate them too and try to ignore them if I can get away with it!!),you've been so supportive with buying from me.

Maybe after a short break ,you can rethink?

I don't think there are really cliques as such,just people who might live near one another and get together now and again.
I've always thought that we are more like one big clique!

Anyway..I hope you will keep blogging as I'll miss you if you go.

xxx ;-)

Hen said...

Oh dear. I'm so sorry you feel this way. Sometimes, one can get a bit wrapped up in blogging. I find myself thinking, "will people like this" "is it boring" "should I put on photos of things for sale or is that naff" etc etc. But I always remind myself that's it my blog, I can do what I like (!), I do it because I enjoy it and also, I love other people's blogs so if there's someone out there who can enjoy mine, I'm giving a bit back to them because I am truly grateful that other people take the time to blog and give me (free) pleasure.
I know I am relatively new to your blog but I am a "follower" and shall be sad to see you go. I think you need to enjoy blogging and be whatever you want to be, no one expects you to have a "country living" style lifestyle and what you see on people's blogs is not all of who they are, just what they want to show you. For me, blogging is about trying to be positive and show the nice things in your life because I know I like to read cheery happy blogs so I keep my miserable and less than perfect stuff to myself - but we all have those times! Someone said they thought my blog was like the Darling Buds of May" - I can tell them nothing could be further from the truth!!! I wasn't aware of cliques, just that some people obviously particularly like one or two blog and tend to visit that a lot but that's like life, we all choose our friends...
Best wishes to you, I hope to see you return and thank you for all the times you have visited my own blog. I understand you might want a break but perhaps in time, you might want to come back and we'll be waiting..
Hen x

Rosie said...

What a shame that you are stopping. I started blogging for the same reason as you.
I am usless at cooking, crafts, writing and many of the things that other bloggers seem to find comes naturally.
I don't live in a beautiful cottage or even have a desirable home. I just dream of one day having these things.
I think my blog must be pretty dull compared to the ones I read.

What I do know is that I feel priveledged to have an insight into the lives and homes of others out there who I would never have met in my everyday life such as yourself.

Hope you rethink or comeback after a break x

Shabby Chick said...

Oh Simone, please don't stop! You were one of the first people to welcome me to blogging and I really enjoy reading what you have to say.

It's like Fight Club... the first rule is, there are no rules! You can say/reveal/be who you want. I write from the heart as well, I think it's hard not too unless you keep things very superficial.

As for the cliques, I'm not sure about that. I understand cliques to mean being friendly at the exclusion of others so I hope you've not been ignored or blanked by anyone. I've just waded in and commented on any blog I fancy and so far always been responded to.

I'm doing my first swap at the moment (the valentines one) but I won't be participating in all of them. I am enjoying it but it's worked out quite expensive and we really don't have the cash to splash so it will be a case of picking and choosing.

I hope you're not saying you're a mess because some blogs make out that their writers' lives are just 100% wonderful. Mine isn't, nobody's is, and you can't compare yourself to what you see on a blog.

If you do go you will be missed, hugs, Mel xxx

Flossie and Tom said...

Thats such a shame - I'm new to blogland - I only started in December so i know how you feel but I've always felt that everyone is very welcoming.

I still do feel a bit like the new girl in school but enjoy the support and reading about others lives.

I follow your blog as do a lot of others so you must be doing something right!!

Have a rethink


Rosie said...

Oh, no, please don't go. I just don't know what to say. Perhaps a little break and then come back? I love your blog and your cheery comments on mine. I, too sometimes feel I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve and we all have doubting moments - I've been doing mine since 2005 and have nearly given up a couple of times but I do love it so.

You will be missed very much. Good luck to you whatever you deicide to do. I'm hoping you will continue. Take care.

summerfete said...

Youre not alone Simone. I think a few of us are feeling the same, I know I am. Its also easy to get sucked in to blogging everyday, and I admit to lusting after the perfect homes on here!

I keep telling people to remember what it was like when you started blogging and revert back to then.

I shall probably reduce my posts on summerfete after my anniversary, and stick with my garden blog, as there wont be any competition really.

I shall miss miss miss your comments, I suppose all good things do come to an end.

Stick around though friend!

Clare x
ps. I hope I didnt offend anyone I, love all blogs I'm just a little obsessed!

Josie-Mary said...

Hello, hope you don't mind me leaving a comment... I found your blog via some else & was drawn to the beatiful cat!!!
I'm sorry to hear you feel like this... I agree with all the above comments & I think everyone has issues that they don't want to share. My life is far from perfect, I started blogging in Sept after my 17 year old cat died.. I felt so alone & I was welcomed to blogland with open arms. I think the pressure is on sometimes to have the 'country living' life but through blogging I've found out we all have our problems & I'm happier to share mine on line with people I've never met then my friends & family!!!
Hope you re think & come back to us :)

driftwood said...

I'll miss your blog and your comments, I hope you find peace with your decision, and if you start up this blog again, or a new one, I'd be happy to come by, tags or no tags, swaps, or no swaps, sometimes it's just refreshing to hear someone elses voice.
take care of yourself
best wishes, tess x

pebbledash said...

Hi Simone,
I feel sad reading your post. Blogland will be an emptier place without Linden Grove. I value your gentle and honest writing. I also think most people 'edit' their blogs in that they write predominantly about the good bits in life and leave out the not so good bits. I hope that whatever you decide to do, it's the right decision and one made from your heart. I will miss you.
Love Diana x

periwinkle said...

To be honest I don't know what to say as you sound so sad -- whatever you decide to do I hope that you , your family and Gizmo are happy. In the end it can only be your choice. I'll miss you and I'm sure I won't be the only one. Take care and big hugs . I will keep popping back though . :-)
Lisa x

Pixiedust said...

Oh Simone, thats a shame. I love you popping by to say hello, and seeing pics of your cute cat. I wish I could change your mind, about leaving. I'll miss you! (((((big hugs))))))). xxxxxxx

lou said...

Aww bless you, you have only got too read the comments to see you will be missed, I will miss you and your blog.Nobody’s life is perfect, some share their ups and downs on their blog and some don’t, I would rather not, I like to share my photos and other stuff, but there is no right and wrong way.

Josh finds reading and writing really hard! so I thought I would tell you what I tell him, life would be very boring if we were all the same everyone plays there part in life you need to be proud of who you are and hold your head up high, blogging is no different too life apart from most of us share the same interests, I love to visit lots of different blogs and different people, my friends think I’m mad getting excited over buttons and ribbons and they don’t understand why I blog, but we all seem too share that love of craft and all things handmade and that is what I get from blogging.

I think what I am trying to say is if you enjoy blogging you should carry on, I don’t think anybody expects you to be anything but yourself, I blog about what I like if somebody else enjoys it that’s great, if not nobody has too read it, try and have the attitude tough shit I am who I am, it works for me.

I hope to see you soon…love Lou xxx

funkymonkey said...

Dear Simone,

I did try and leave you a comment yesterday but don't think it arrived. Basically. I just wanted to say that I will miss you very much if you stop blogging. I have doubts about my blog at times and think about stopping but things like tags don't matter - perhaps we should all just ignore them!

I hope you start to feel better abpout things soon.


Julia said...

Simone, you may be taking it all a bit too serious! It should be fun – just think of it as writing a diary; you write whatever you want, whenever you want to. I think blogging is about being a bit of a ‘show-off’ to be honest, because we’re all keen to show what we’ve made/are making and to see whether others like what we’ve made – sometimes a success, sometimes not. I certainly have found blogging inspirational and have made many more things since blogging than I would have otherwise, purely through having been motivated to do so by others. I’ve made some lovely friends (including you I hope!) all around the world. I’ve just won my first prise in a ‘giveaway’ and am about to take part in my first swap – it’s all just simple fun …….. even if some of my friends think I’m a bit of a sad person!! We’re all diverse, with differing capabilities – simply do what you can and what you want to and enjoy it. There are certainly some ladies who make me feel inadequate when I look at what they achieve, and they do it despite having families and going out to work, but hey ho, I do what I can!

You don’t need to fit into a particular genre. Some ladies seem to skip between quilting, cross-stitch, knitting, painting and cooking blogs, probably simply for a bit of variety, and that’s OK!

And you certainly are popular: you regularly receive 20+ comments – the most I have ever received so far is 9 comments, but I’m not deterred, I’ll keep working at it because it’s lovely to get them!!

And I put my photograph on despite the fact I’m no oil painting – love me as I am!!!!

It’s a shame if you do pull the plug Simone – why not have a re-think on that.

Keep in touch and don’t be too down.

Very best wishes Julia :0) xx

sweetmyrtle said...

So sorry to read this post Simone... i think your blog is lovely and all i would say is just be yourself and do what makes you happy. You can always take time out away from your blog if you wish and then return to it later... there are no rules. (i have just done the same as words often fail me and am only over here at sweetmyrtle now with mainly photos which i enjoy taking when i have time) Blogs are like life, they do change and evolve. Sometimes blogs do appear to have cliques but most i read or have read are written by such lovely warm and open folk who enjoy the connections with many different blog friends, both old and new.
Many blogs only show the good bits too and it can make others feel insecure... but nobody's life is perfect and we all are bumbling through life the best we can. Don't worry about the tags either .. they can be fun sometimes but you must always put yourself and your happiness first. You always have lots of comments so it's obvious that you are a very loved blogger. Please don't be sad... take care of yourself,
with love
ginny x

Clairey said...

It will be sad to see your blog disappear Simone.

Surely the fact you have 21 followers of your blog shows you that you belong in blogland?

Clairey xx

Janette said...

hi Simone,

like everyone else who has commented I will miss you too. But if blogging is becoming a chore then yes taking a break could be the right thing for you to do at the moment. I took nearly a year out and just kept up reading on a couple that I really liked. Since December I've started again and enjoy it much more. This time I am just writing for me and writing about the things I feel like on any particular day. I don't have a charmed life, we have ups and downs like everyone else and some days I just can't be bothered but in a way this is my escape, I can forget about the bad bits and focus on the good bits. Yes I hope people like it but if they don't then they don't I'm not really going to worry about it.
Do what you think is best for you - hopefully you won't be away too long.
take care

silverpebble said...

Simone, it saddened me to read this. I do hope you're not having a hard time at the moment. I have valued your comments immensely - you've been so loyal to my blog - many many thanks. I have found your blog refreshing and so lovely. It's such a shame that you feel pressured into being someone you're not and that you feel something is expected of you - it's not.

I had to take my two blog breaks because I was somewhat of a mess too. A close family member had been close to death whilst I had a very small baby. I couldn't face blogging because it all seemed so happy and carefree - so far from my reality! I nearly didn't return to blogging - I just couldn't face it - it seemed like such hard work and not what I wanted to do. It seemed so demanding and unreal. But then, that's what it is - it's a kind of fantasy world. I came back because the family member recovered, against all odds. I also came back because blogland's rather nice to escape to - fabrics, icicles, lovely pussycats, crafts. It helped me out of horrid anxiety and fear.You've enriched blogland with this very blog.

People's homes may seem idyllic but they're certainly not revealing the huge pile of washing, or even the crabby husband who's tired of his wife tapping away! I think blogland, on the whole, is highly edited. It's not real. Nor is Country Living! It's just pretty pictures. A dream.

It's so sad to read that blogging has detracted at all from your life rather than enhancing it, but if you feel it's not the place for you then it's a brave decision. Having nearly taken the same decision myself I do respect it.

We'll miss you Simone. Thanks again for providing a lovely place to visit - (you really did - it was a pleasure to drop into Linden Grove).

Best thoughts and wishes


Lyn said...

Oh I only started blogging on 1st Feb and read your blog right through. Although I have not been doing it long it is such a shame you won't be there any more.
Maybe after a break you will come back to it again.
Good luck in what ever you choose

Gina said...

All the best to you know what feels right..and thanks so much for all you've shared and your visits and kind words :D Take Care, Gina x

Little Knitter Gem said...

I totally agree with Silver Pebble - if only you KNEW the pile of washing that needs putting away sat in our bedroom (it never really goes away completely, just gets smaller then bigger again!!).

I have the most boring job in the world, and feel very trapped in it, so I see blogland as an escape where I can talk about the good things that are in my life, and not have to think about the bad.

Of course, I don't know your personal circumstances, but from your blog I feel that you are kind and gentle and talented. I am not going to beg you to stay in blogland, because if that's not right for you at the moment, it wouldn't be fair of me to pressure you for what would probably be my sake. I just hope that you feel happier soon, and are able to realise all the good things that you have in your life. :)

Best of luck to you and big hugs,

Gemma x x

Redwoodhouse said...

Ohh I am so sorry that you are giving up your blog. I do understand a lot of what you have said though. I have wondered about giving it up from time to time mainly as it is so time consuming and I don't think that many people visit or leave comments on my blog anyway, but those that do I really appreciate and try to remember to reply. I do still get a buss when a comment is left and thinking about things to post about, after reading the comments that people have left above you may feel differently, I agree with what has already been said but most of all you must do what you are comfortable with.
I do hope to see you back sometime.

cathleen said...


I am so sorry you are not feeling good about your life. I really appreciate how you have consistently visited my blog and left me the most wonderful comments...especially about my picture!!! That really made my day...week...possibly my month, by the way! Spend some time with sweet-faced Gizmo and cuddle for awhile...things will start looking better soon. Look at all the people who have commented and care about you. That has to count for something, right? Perhaps you are just getting a serious case of cabin fever. Please take care of yourself and come back soon, okay?

jellybelly*jellybrain said...

Don't go!
We all need other people's blogs to feel normal about ourselves!
I see people's blogs with photos of themselves and think "oh, I'm not the only one shaped like that" or "wow, her house is just as messy and she's posted pictures"
If you feel under pressure to write a post, then don't - but one day you might get a thought pop into your head and want to share it.
Don't disappear from the blogoshpere totally .....

Attic24 said...

oh NO!!!!!!!!!!! Simone I am so sad to read your words. You have made my heart feel heavy with sadness.

I hope that you may take heart from all the comments left here and know that you are valued and that your writing, photographs and observations are just lovely. True, honest, observant, thoughtful, inspiring and lovely. Thats what I think when I think of you and Linden Grove.

I do however believe that you need to be happy with your space in blogland, with your little corner of cyberspace. I believe you need to use your blog genuinely for yourself whatever your reasons for creating a blog in the first place were, they do need to be genuine and honest reasons or else what's the point?
For me personally, my blog allows me to explore/share/inspire/record/seek approval. For all those reasons I blog. But I blog first and foremost for myself, and secondly for others. It HAS to be that way around.

maybe you simply don't need blogging any more, maybe you are tired of being public, maybe you don't have a need to record your life/thoughts/pictures. Maybe you just don't need to share anymore????????

But YOU WILL BE MISSED. your sweet voice will be missed. Please do what your heart says. And even if you DO decide to pull the plug here, don't you dare stop visiting with me OK???????? It'll be ok to exist in blogland as an observer/commenter without owning a blog you know. I did that for almost a year before Attic24 was born and it was hugely enjoyable. Don't stop existing in Blogland, don't fade away. You can walk the streets and wave at the residents without owning a house.

Love to you

louise said...

Just remember Simone, to always be you. x

greenbeanbaby said...

wow... well you have 28 comments already so if i repeat, dont mind...

i dont agree with cliques... i try not be in one either... i think its wrong when someone only acknowledges their friends on the blog and never comments to the newbies or other admirers... i steer away from those blogs... [but lately, i've lost the chance to really visit all those i care about too...]....

blogging can get boring- honestly... do people care how much you mop? if you are happy or frustrated? if you bought paper? the history of when you got your pet? the blogger would think NO ONE but then you find that there are those who really do love those ramblings... the honesty... they just enjoy YOU... and simone, so many of us ENJOY YOU... you dont have to be in swaps or trades if you dont want to be.... you dont have to post about anything of meaning if you dont feel like it... you dont have to have perfect pictures... in the end, you will still have those who enjoy you for you...

i dont judge you... but i do like you alot!!! and you are such a sweet person who is creative and fun and a WONDERFUL writer...

and lastly, if we all knew the FULL truth behind every blogger, we'd be surprised! i know one who is losing their house and feels like she loses her mind at times... she seems to be going thru so much and tries to be positive but only after a few crying sessions.... i think you know her!!! ;)


greenbeanbaby said...

ps. and if you go, only go cuz you just got bored of blogging.... my mom finds it boring... she likes flickr mostly.... remain in touch ;) and if you find the game isn't over, you still have your supporters!!!

biggest hugs sweet simone!

Simone said...

Dear Cathleen thank you very much for your kind comment that I have accidently deleted instead of posting!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is lovely, I enjoy the photos. Everyone offers a unique view of their world, and that is the what I like about blogs. I hope it isn't game over.

cathleen said... worries...I commented on your very first blog post and it's still there. Now...come on back to us, girl!!!!!!!