Tuesday, 15 November 2011
I am in a bit of a strange mood today (what's new?). I feel as though I have been uprooted (just like the tree) and somewhat scattered. I really need to feel grounded again. I have being feeling quite stressed out recently, dropping things and not really being mindful of what I am doing. That needs to stop!
Sometimes I worry about my future. I am a bit of a drifter and tend to go with the ebb and flow. No wonder my 'career' is going nowhere. Stuck on the beach, afraid of dipping my toe in and just allowing circumstances to pull me into the water or wash me up on the beach. I do have nightmares about becoming a whiskery chinned vagrant looked down upon by some members of society, wondering where my next meal is going to come from and whether or not I will find a place to sleep that night.
I really need to get my act together and find a way of generating some kind of an income. The voluntary work I do is rewarding and satisfies my 'need' of feeling useful but I do need to be 'earning' too.
I have dabbled with selling a few hand made items here on my blog but that is not sustainable as I only really cover the cost of the materials. Do I learn a new skill? Do I perfect the ones I have? Do I forget crafting as a way to generate an income? Questions, questions, questions. Going around and around in circles. I need to see things differently as I have become stuck in a rut for quite a considerable time.
By putting these thoughts down, I am hoping for some clarification. My indecisiveness is so tiresome and I can't carry on in this frame of mind. I don't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I feel emotionally drained with trying to figure out a solution to my conundrum.