Sunday 15 October 2017

Finding a Pathway

Nineteen years ago I became a Mum.  I was reluctant with this new found status but decided there and then that I would be the best Mum I could be.  My son was breech so I was forced to have a planned caesarean section.  I even got to choose if I wanted my son born on a Wednesday or the Thursday!  I have always felt like a 'plastic' Mum as I never got to experience childbirth.  After my operation, and being wired up to various drips I remember my helplessness at not being able to reach the crying baby in the cot next to me.  After 6 days in the hospital I was 'let' home.  There was no welcome home party or instruction book.  I suppose at 35 you're expected to know what to do.

The first couple of years were hard.  I tried to keep my post natal depression under wraps.  I did some research and found out the name of an anti depressant I could take that wouldn't be addictive. In the mean time I took various Bach Flower Remedies to alleviate my mood.  To say I lost myself for a couple of years is an understatement.

As my son grew older I gradually had more time for myself.  I began to take up various creative pursuits and in 2008 started this blog.  Writing the blog was my saviour.  In order to have something to write about I had to 'do' something worth writing about.  The fun part was then taking photos and putting a blog post together.

Last year I knew that my life was going to go through a big change again with my son leaving home to go to University.  I wondered what would become of me now I no longer had to be the stay at home Mum.  I had saved up some money and went in secret to see a life coach in the hope that she could put me on a new pathway.  It turned out to be more of a counselling session as I wept at no longer knowing who I was anymore.  She gave me some constructive advice but really it was just affirmations to me of what I already knew.  She said to create a mood board of anything I liked the look of and just keep adding to it, taking images from magazine or words of inspiration etc.  I think she believed in the power of attraction and that by putting up images of what you liked those things would come to you.  In speaking to her I realised that I wanted to have a 'good enough' job so that I could bring in an income.  I left her house feeling that I had a plan to move forward and that I would focus on getting a job.  Without money life pretty much comes to a standstill.

Within 6 months I had a job.  Six months on - I have a new streamlined physique and a positive frame of mind.  I can understand why there are so many books, magazines, blogs and websites about mindfulness now.  The mind is SO powerful.

To return to the beginning of this post - for nineteen years I feel like I was lost in a forest.  I was being Mum (not so much of a wife, if I am honest) but I had lost all sense of who I was at the core.  Each day I would start out in the forest, going around and around in circles or going over places I had already been desperately searching for me.  Once I stopped and stood still and let go trying to find myself anymore, things started to reveal themselves to me.

My pathway has been as follows:

  • Get into the correct mindset (without this I wouldn't have had the confidence to apply for a job)
  • Get a job (a 'good enough' one)
  • Start to eat a healthier diet (for me, 3 meals a day, plant based diet, no snacking) 
  • Self care and nurturing (Epsom salt baths and body pampering)
  • Exercise (daily walking to work and VIPR fitness lesson once a week) 

I still need to make time for my hobbies and crafts but at the moment my 'hobby' is very much about personal development.

I hope that my story will give hope to anyone stuck in a rut.  Decide what you want from your life and then make small steps towards achieving it and above all be your own best friend.

*picture above from issue 8 of Breathe magazine


9 comments:

  1. wow...good for you Simone, it sounds like you've got it all under control!
    V x

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  2. It certainly does sound as if you are finding new and positive pathways to take you through the next stages of your journey, Simone and also that you are accepting the things that have happened in the past without dwelling on them in a negative way anymore, that's great:)

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  3. Thank you for sharing. I too am in the middle of figuring out, making time, and trying to take care of my health all at 61 years old. It's not easy, but doable.

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  4. I am so pleased that you are finding yourself again Simone - I love to see your posts arrive in my reader as each one is more positive than the last after that shaky start you had with your job it is good to know that you have persevered and that life feels good for you.

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  5. Glad it's all going so well...I'm trying to get inspired so please keep us posted. xx

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  6. Excellent advice. Glad you were able to get unstuck.

    Blessings~

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  7. Wow, what an inspiring post, Simone! I am definitely going to try some of your methods! As you read on my blog, I have been going through some "down" times, but I love the idea of the vision board and healthy eating. I am very happy to see you being so "up" and positive!
    Thanks so much for sharing! xx

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  8. A post full of looking ahead and taking positive steps towards how you see your life. Good luck with all you are striving towards.
    Lisa x

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  9. As Judy said, this is a very inspiring post and I can relate to a lot of it. There is a lot of pressure on mothers to be endlessly positive about their role and I certainly have very ambivilent thoughts about it.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and best wishes with your new path, I look forward to reading more about it xx

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