Saturday, 10 February 2018

Musings and a Carrot Cake

I have realised recently that I am a comfort eater.  I have stuck wonderfully to my new healthier way of eating since September 2017.  As long as I make sure that no 'unhealthy' food is in the house I am fine but a few times over the past couple of months (at least) I have been lapsing into the 'old' ways.  Now, I don't want to become obsessive about my food and know that as long as I am eating well for the majority of the time I can eat a cake or biscuits occasionally. 

I have been miserable since returning to work after the Christmas break.  I have kept quiet about my job on the blog and tried to be upbeat and positive but sometimes there is no hiding from the true way we are feeling. Although I am now earning a wage again the thought of staying in this line of work until my retirement sends me into a blind panic.   When I am feeling low I reach for something sweet: a couple of squares of chocolate, a small bar of chocolate, a larger bar of chocolate.......... a sweet tooth and a sad soul is never satiated no matter how much of the sweet stuff is consumed.

There is a culture of bullying in this particular workplace.  People that have worked here for years rule the roost.  There is no such thing as 'all staff treated equally 'and 'every member of staff matters' which are written up and displayed on notice boards.  I find myself isolated, eating alone at lunch break, and having nothing in common with my colleagues. I have tried to engage with them and know a lot about their lives as I have shown an interest.  However they no nothing of me and my life because they couldn't give a s**t. 

Anyway.  Today I baked a sugar laden carrot cake smothered in a sweet cream cheese topping.  I will probably hate myself next week after eating it, but thank goodness I still attend my fitness class.

10 comments:

greenrabbitdesigns said...

Sorry things at work are making you unhappy, it is so sad that in this day and age that these things are still happening.
Enjoy your cake!
V x

Lyn said...

Oh Simone, we are at work for such a big part of our lives it isn't good if it is a negative atmosphere sorry to read you are having a hard time of it. People are cruel sometimes. Don't feel bad about the cake, you need to have a little comfort every now and again. Keep strong and know you are better than them. Xxx

Judy Hartman said...

This is interesting, Simone, because I remember you writing about this aspect of your workplace when you started this job, but since you haven't mentioned it I was hoping things had improved. I'm really sorry your coworkers are so rude and uncaring. I once had a job in which I felt totally out of place and, after sticking it out for as long as I could, I abruptly quit one day. I was young, but had a gut feeling that I was in the wrong place.
I hope that things improve for you, my friend, or that something else better suited to you comes along. Life is too short to put up with things that make us miserable. Wish I could stop by for a cup of tea, a chat and a piece of that carrot cake! xxx

Lisa said...

My that cake looks delicious and deserves to be enjoyed. As you deserve to enjoy eating it and not feeling bad for that.
I'm sorry that your work place is ruled over by the kind of people who don't give a damn. I've been in that situation before and it is miserable making at times. Know you are good, kind and generous person.
Lisa x

Rosie said...

So sorry you are having a difficult time at work, Simone. I've worked at a couple of places like that in my time and it isn't pleasant and quite distressing. Equally I've worked at wonderful places where I've looked forward to going into work each day and where colleagues have become treasured friends. You can always tentatively look for other work and or training so you can eventually move on to a better work place. It doesn't harm to treat yourself to comforting food occasionally and your cake looks so good:)

KC'sCourt! said...

Sorry things are not working out for you, but you now have your foot in the door to seek out another better workplace,

Funny I made a carrot cake too.

Julie xxxxx

Kim said...

I'm sorry things are not going so well in your job Simone, and I echo what others have said in the comments here about looking for something else. What would you really like to do?

If you would like to talk/moan/exchange ideas via email or snail mail do message me - spiralspun@gmail.com
The carrot cake looks delicious - and it has to be a bit nutritious with carrots and cheese in it - so do enjoy it. xx

Ethel Johnson said...

Sorry you are still struggling at work...wish I had some wise words other than 'be kind to yourself and enjoy that cake!'xx.

Karen L R said...

Oh, poo.
I'm so sorry to read that things at work are still a struggle. I'm so stunned when I see a lack of common courtesy...the ignorance and cruelty of some people is so discouraging.
A bit of cake is OK now and again. Maybe get outside for a brisk walk for some fresh air and a good clearing out of the mind?
Sending comfort your way, buddy.
xoK-

Theresa Young said...

I'm sorry things are not going well at work. Maybe you should consider looking elsewhere. Keep this job till you find somewhere that might be a better fit. That cake looks wonderful!!!