Recently I have not been very mindful of what I'm doing. I will give you a couple of examples. When visiting the library I took out my house keys to open the door; this morning I put on my son's Lynx deodorant by mistake.
A couple on months back I liberally sprayed deodorant all over my face thinking it was Liz Earle's skin tonic spritzer. I don't know if these acts of carelessness are because I have too much on (in) my mind - or not enough. It is quite a worry to make mistakes with the most mundane of tasks.
I have been feeling quite useless recently. My self esteem is rock bottom and I find it a chore to even dress appropriately to get a paper from the corner shop.
I need to find work but lack the confidence to do anything let alone convince an employer reasons to employ me! I could give a ream of good reasons for not employing me though.
A few posts back I asked readers/bloggers for suggestions on the kinds of jobs I could consider. I was flattered that you had such high expectations of me and for a while believed that I could do anything I put my mind to, but every now and then a little voice in the back of my head tells me to be realistic, to stop kidding myself and to stop having ideas above my station.
The melancholy season is just around the corner. I am having my melancholy period in advance so that I can get this negativity of my chest and out of my head, and start living life again.