Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Just Words

I don't really like to do a blog post without a photo but I just wanted to write today and didn't have a suitable picture to accompany the text.  My photos have been lacking of late too and I feel that I have reached a metaphorical ceiling with my photography.

After my euphoria of turning out some not bad rings last week I came crashing back down to earth this week when I couldn't produce a decent bracelet.  I did all the fancy work of making the bracelets but wasn't satisfied with how I was finishing them off.  I tried various findings and lobster claw clasps and knots but nothing seemed to work to my satisfaction.  I now have a pile of spoilt bracelets.   Little frustrations like this in life really get me down from time to time.  The bracelet example sums up my life.  Doing a good job but never seeing anything through to fruition or completion. Things fizzle out before they really ever get off the ground.

Today I have been feeling as though my life is and has been about walking on a tightrope.  I try to keep upright, straight and balanced but it is a constant struggle to focus on the end of the rope and not lean to much to the left or right for fear of falling.  I tiptoe precariously, heart thumping with clammy palms and have a strong urge to jump before I fall. 

A few weeks back I attended a course on an introduction to business for women.  I was really looking forward to it although my enthusiasm soon waned when the speaker said that we need to bring home £2000 a month before we can even think of starting a business.  She said that we needed a domain name, to print business cards and take out three types of insurance including indemnity and public liability, employ an accountant or bookkeeper and beg steal or borrow a loan.  I came away feeling more useless than when I went in. 

Writing all these thoughts down is giving me some clarity.  I am like the horse who pulls up just before it reaches the finishing line.  I must find a way or the motivation to keep going until I am the winner and not the drop out, the victor and not the defeatist.

5 comments:

marigold jam said...

Sorry you are felling like this at the moment. Maybe you are trying the wrong things and that is why you don't finish? Maybe you need to really talk to someone non judgemental about your problems - councelling does work even though it is not necessarily the councellor who finds the answers but you simply by verbalising what is wrong you sometimes find the answers yourself and at least you are not going round and round like a hamster on a wheel. I know how it can seem that you can't find the way through this maze but there is a way and you will find it eventually!

Toffeeapple said...

Simone, through my last thirty years I have had small businesses that needed very few pounds to start them up. Cake making and decorating, for example. Faux stained glass as another; designing knitwear, the list goes on. If you need thousands of pounds to set up it feels to me as if the speaker was expecting you to start in big business, it doesn't have to be that way. Good luck m'dear.

greenrabbitdesigns said...

I think you could start a business on a lot less than that Simone, I don't really think that was the course for you!
I agree with Jane you should try talking to someone, as you say you feel better when you write it all down maybe talking it through would help!
V xxx

Rum-Punch Drunk said...

Life can be tough sometimes but it's not always like that. Could it be that you're being too hard on yourself right now? You want everything to be so perfect that nothing seems to be good enough, but in reality you are very good at what you are doing. Ok, the bracelets didn't come out like you wanted them to, so put them aside and work on something else until you're inspired with a new way to finish them off.
Or maybe you're just a little tired and need a short break doing something completely new and different to refresh your mind.

As for the business course. Yes, you might need some money in order to start a business but I'm sure you can start small and allow it to grow rather than throw a whole load of money into it straight away, especially if your new to it all.
Don't allow this woman's opinion to kill your dreams, I'm sure there are many other options out there.

Selfsewn said...

Simone why dont you start off with a small craft fair? Really all that business guff is not necessary when you are starting out xxxx
ps. I have plenty of non-starters (naff projects that go wrong!!)