Friday, 27 March 2015

Insignificant

When I was employed a line manager once said to me 'those that shout the loudest are the ones that get heard.' Although he didn't agree that that should be the case.  He was referring to the fact that I was always overlooked when it came to promotion or opportunities at work.  Somehow I thought my hard work and dedication would be 'found' rather than me having to spell it out loud and clear to everyone.  With this in mind, the older I get the more I find myself 'disappearing' and becoming more and more insignificant. Unless I shout out 'here I am' I might as well blend in with the furniture.  Not one of my in-laws remembered my Birthday.  Two of my longest standing 'friends' of over 20 years didn't acknowledge my Birthday either.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to be seen and heard.  I spend at least 35 hours a week on my own.  When I do see my significant other I am told that I am gullible, negative and attention seeking.  It is very difficult to keep my spirits up and feel a sense of worth when I am either being ignored or spoken to unkindly.  Yes, maybe I need to toughen up but it is difficult to change who you are just to fit in with other peoples expectations of what you should be.  I am not naturally loud or bubbly - the characteristics that seem to be desirable in today's society.

When feeling so small and insignificant, there is a great quote by Rumi to turn things around which is 'You are not a drop in the ocean.  You are the entire ocean in a drop.'  Now, there's a thought.

Sometimes I question, apart from having my son, if my life has filled any purpose at all?  I hope that it has.  Despite not having anything tangible at the moment to prove I am heading in the right direction I am quietly confident that positive things lie ahead for me.  I don't need to beat a drum or shout from the roof tops to make it so.

11 comments:

Ethel Johnson said...

I love that quote...I shall ask my daughter to make it into a papercut. I rather like...'Quiet people have the loudest minds' I don't like loud people so stay just as you are and hang on to the positive. xx

KC'sCourt! said...

You are you, you are your own person. Do what you want and not what others want you to. If people don't like what you do that is their problem not yours.
Julie xxxxxx

greenrabbitdesigns said...

Awe don't sell yourself short Simone, you are who you are and anything else would be false.
I think being a mother to your son is probably the best job anyone can do. I have spent the greater part of my life being a mum and I think its the best job in the world, even now with one in another country and the other one married.
You can't jump up and down and shout if it's not in your nature, just be yourself and everyone else will just have to accept that.
V x

Rosie said...

You certainly aren't insignificant, Simone. I know what you mean about finding it difficult to be seen and heard - especially as you get older. Like you I'm a quiet and thoughtful person and was taught by my parents to always stand back and give way to others and not push myself forward or to 'show off' in anyway so now that is part of me and my character. Just be you Simone, you have so many talents and so much to offer:)

Judy Hartman said...

Oh my goodness! The writer of a lovely blog, a talented artist and craft designer, a writer of poetry and stories, a great cook and a lover of nature - how in the world could you be considered insignificant? How boring the world would be if everyone were loud and "out there"! We need some of us introverts to balance society out provide some tranquil space in this world! xx

Anne Butera said...

Simone, each and every person is significant in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to see that when we're comparing ourselves to others. That Rumi quote is so true. But I think it's also up to us to be happy with who we are and what we're doing, to feel fulfilled. It can be so difficult, but I think it's essential. If we're not happy with who we are then no one else can be.

Have you read the book Quiet by Susan Cain? I have not, but it's on my reading list and I think the subtitle says it all: "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking".

Each person is unique. Why would we all want to be the same? "Loud and bubbly"? Ugh, can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone was like that?

You ARE headed in the right direction. You will find your way. Don't let anyone discourage you, Simone.

sharon said...

Can you imagine a garden where only the loudest bird was allowed to sing? Where only the flower with the heaviest scent was allowed to bloom?
Isn't it delightful to get very near the violets to really see their faces and get the tiniest whiff of their perfume??
Judy said it all, my dear friend.
And from me?? Be the best Simone you can be. No one else could do it better.
love to you this last Saturday of March.

Bev C said...

Hello Simone,

You have written on your sidebar.

I am a craftist.
I make things.
I bake things.
I grow things.
I paint things.
I love nature
I love life.

I always read this when I visit your blog.

Each of us is different that's what makes the world so interesting.

Have a lovely day.

Bev.

Lisa said...

I have never heard that Rumi quote before but it is certainly one I shan't forget.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
That's a good one too.
Lisa x

Amanda said...

I think, looking at how many comments you have on every single blog post, that you are far from insignificant... Your thoughts, words and makes inspire a lot of people. Sometimes you don't have to be the one receiving all the credit to be the one making the difference... I hope that makes sense?

As for being spoken to like that, please do not listen to it. That is not a reflection of you, but of those speaking the words. What comes out of my mouth is about me and what comes out of your mouth is about you. Remember that and it will be easier to stand up against such messages xx

Linda Gilbert said...

It's strange but I have only just found your blog and yet I want to say keep writing,keep making,keep being you. My Mum told me these words and I have never forgotten them. " speech is silver,silence us gold." I would always choose the company if a thoughtful,reflective person. I go to Yoga classes and one of the things I have learned is to still my mind and be.