Friday, 27 March 2015
I am finding it increasingly difficult to be seen and heard. I spend at least 35 hours a week on my own. When I do see my significant other I am told that I am gullible, negative and attention seeking. It is very difficult to keep my spirits up and feel a sense of worth when I am either being ignored or spoken to unkindly. Yes, maybe I need to toughen up but it is difficult to change who you are just to fit in with other peoples expectations of what you should be. I am not naturally loud or bubbly - the characteristics that seem to be desirable in today's society.
When feeling so small and insignificant, there is a great quote by Rumi to turn things around which is 'You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.' Now, there's a thought.
Sometimes I question, apart from having my son, if my life has filled any purpose at all? I hope that it has. Despite not having anything tangible at the moment to prove I am heading in the right direction I am quietly confident that positive things lie ahead for me. I don't need to beat a drum or shout from the roof tops to make it so.