Monday, 22 June 2015

Beaded Cross Finale Finale!

I didn't have intentions to show any more beaded crosses for a while but as that is what I have been doing I thought I would show and tell!  For the blue and gold coloured cross I added some pale yellow glass crystal beads to give some contrast, and I made a smaller cross with silver seed beads with larger silver beads to give a bit more dimension.

I really should stop making these now as I have no plan for them other than to sit in a pile of 'done' stuff! The reason for all this beading is to keep my brain active.  I have also been doing Sudoku and Logic puzzles in the evening.  My brain craves something to do and I feel so wasted being at home with no real purpose other than to  'be around'.  I seem to live my life vicariously through others and would love to have a life of my own where I am earning a wage and given some worth to what I do.

Today is wet and miserable and I am in the second week of my husband staying off work with a trapped nerve in his back.  I selfishly want the house to myself and feel under scrutiny each time I come up on to the computer.  He hasn't said anything but I know he would swap places with me any day. 

If only I could get organised and write up a plan of action for my future.  Each time I mention self employment a row ensues and again I feel worthless and incapable. 

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I see myself as a deceased old woman atop a pile of projects complete and incomplete with the local authorities stating 'she didn't know which way to turn, so she stayed put'.  I really hope that my indecision's won't be the death of me!  I'd best crack on and draw up some kind of life plan lest the choice is taken from me.

By the way, I am not depressed.  I am just exasperated.

6 comments:

Kezzie said...

I can understand your exasperation! This is probably a dumb question but have you written down exactly what you want and why? Perhaps that would help you and help Hubby to see too in a black and white way?
x

greenrabbitdesigns said...

I understand your feeling of wanting the house to yourself, I love my own space too!
I really hope you can find a solution Simone.
Your crosses are lovely, I especially the silver one.
V x

Rosie said...

The beaded crosses are lovely especially the silver one. I know what you mean about sometimes wanting to be alone and also all your frustrations about feeling that there is so much more you want to do with your life and family constraints and income can hold you back - keep looking, Simone there is something out there for you and I'm sure it lies with your artistic talents:)

Ethel Johnson said...

I hope you find a way
To get joy in your day.
xx

Cheryl mylittlepieceofengland said...

I understand completely, sometimes I worry life is passing me by. I think Kezzie's idea to write lists is a good one (love your crosses) xx

Gillian said...

Your crosses are lovely. There's no reason to feel worthless because you aren't in paid employment. Your worth isn't based on going out to work. It would be a good idea to write down what you want - especially how you want to feel. There are plenty of organisations who would gladly accept your help without being paid and you'd get a real sense of doing something worthwhile. You can work for the Samaritans without even leaving the house, for example.