Gizmo the Killer Cat

Waiting.

In for the kill!!!

Holding his prey in clenched jaws.

He 'kills' the last of the purple french beans.

Getting in a lather

In need of a treat and wanting to learn a new skill, I booked myself on a soap making workshop. I got to the venue early, so walked around the back streets of Islington admiring the multi storey townhouses and wishing that people would leave their blinds up/shutters open so I could take a peek inside.

When I got too cold, to the point of not being able to move my hands anymore, I made my way to The Make Lounge. When inside I was invited to put my jacket and bags into a storage area and then come back and help myself to a drink when done. With a hot cup of coffee in hand (but no sign of the biscuits and savoury snacks that were mentioned in our communication) I sat down at a group of tables as other people joined the room.

The tutor was among the last to join us. We wrote our names on sticky labels and stuck them onto our clothes and then had to go around the room and say our name and if we had made soap before. As each person spoke, something dawned on me. I seemed to be the only working class woman in the room. What I mean is ( and forgive me if I am not eloquent enough in expressing myself) is that the women were well spoken, confident and well educated. My feeling of inadequacy loomed over me ready to make me the class fool by saying or doing the wrong thing.

After deciding the groups of fragrances we preferred such as floral, warm, citrus etc we were put into 3 groups to make the soap as a team. The women in my group found it a breeze and were in their element dipping their pipettes and getting to grips with the digital scales and thermometers. Now, back at home I would find this no problem at all but I felt shy and intimidated by these women who seemed to ooze confidence and organisational skills. They were pleasant enough towards me but I felt really uncomfortable. They probably thought the same about me! I really wanted to crawl under the tables and come out when it was over.

I must have enjoyed myself in a strange sort of way as the time passed quickly. At the end of the course I spied some savoury snacks at the back of the room. Drat! It was too late to eat them now.

With my small box of soap wrapped in a towel and continuing to 'cook' on my journey home, I walked up to the station to catch my train. Arsenal were playing at home. I didn't know. As I got into the station having to force my way through the Arsenal supporters coming out, a tall uniformed man screeched at me ' ENTRANCE OVER THE OTHER SIDE!!!!' I didn't realise that he was talking to me until he screeched at me for a second time 'OVER THE OTHER SIDE!!!' 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO RUDE!' I screeched back at him, being very rude in the process. I think I was feeling particularly stressed after my not-so-much-fun soap making experience.

I now have to wait 24 hours before I can cut the soap into bars and then 4 weeks before I can use it. It does look good, poured in the mould with its sprinkling of lavender flowers. I think I would like to make soap again but in the comfort of my own home, with my own things around me and my own company!

* Just to add, I think that a workshop at the make lounge would be good if you went with a friend or a group of people rather than by yourself unless you have the social skills that I sadly lack!

Blogging Observations

I have been blogging for two and a half years now. I have witnessed many changes in the blogging World since I started out. Here are some of my observations.


Many of the blogs I used to enjoy packed up just as I was starting out.

It used to be fun to receive awards from fellow bloggers but became tiresome when you felt obligated to respond.

People like to read upbeat posts.

You are more likely to receive comments when you post about a pet.

You are more likely to receive comments when doing a giveaway.

You are likely to be taken off peoples blog rolls and replaced with new upcoming blogs.

It is hard to come up with original material.

There are some lovely genuine people.

Some people are not what they seem.

Some people are honest and generous in their giveaways.

Some people never send out the giveaways.

A photo is worth a thousand words.

Comments can be uplifting and inspiring.

It is not a good idea to post personal details.

It is not a good idea to criticise other peoples blogs.

There is an unwritten code of conduct.

For some people blogging is a popularity contest.

When a valued blogger stops blogging it hurts.

Most people appreciate comments.

Most people get bloggers block.

Blogging is addictive.

Glorious Sunshine

.................................and whilst the autumnal leaves and plants returned to slumber; the sun shone out in all her glory.

Mythical Beast

I am feeling a strange affinity to the mythical beast in the picture above today. Looking out into the distance, into the future. Despite having wings to fly she is frozen to the plinth. Whilst weeds grow in front of her she is powerless to do anything about them. Life passes her by as she sits, dreams and wonders.

I feel like a statue. Cold to the touch. Unable to move. Frightened that to make a move would cause me to crumble. So I sit tight. Sit still. And I wonder.

Effortless

'Simone is capable of much more but no effort is ever made.'

Quote from 1978 school report.

I agree! It took no effort whatsoever to polish off this mound of ginger oat biscuits. No effort at all. (A little effort was required to make them though.)

Dilly Dally Dahlia

I didn't dilly dally today. Today was a day for tidying up the garden and getting this beautiful Dahlia plant into the ground before it dried up and died in its pot.

Just getting on and getting jobs done is wonderful for the mind and body. I shall sleep soundly tonight knowing that the grass is cut and the flowers are in their beds.

Losing the Plot

Recently I have not been very mindful of what I'm doing. I will give you a couple of examples. When visiting the library I took out my house keys to open the door; this morning I put on my son's Lynx deodorant by mistake.

A couple on months back I liberally sprayed deodorant all over my face thinking it was Liz Earle's skin tonic spritzer. I don't know if these acts of carelessness are because I have too much on (in) my mind - or not enough. It is quite a worry to make mistakes with the most mundane of tasks.

I have been feeling quite useless recently. My self esteem is rock bottom and I find it a chore to even dress appropriately to get a paper from the corner shop.

I need to find work but lack the confidence to do anything let alone convince an employer reasons to employ me! I could give a ream of good reasons for not employing me though.

A few posts back I asked readers/bloggers for suggestions on the kinds of jobs I could consider. I was flattered that you had such high expectations of me and for a while believed that I could do anything I put my mind to, but every now and then a little voice in the back of my head tells me to be realistic, to stop kidding myself and to stop having ideas above my station.

The melancholy season is just around the corner. I am having my melancholy period in advance so that I can get this negativity of my chest and out of my head, and start living life again.

Goal Setting Revisited

Earlier in the year I set myself some personal goals that I wanted to achieve. These goals were to identify and read 10 books by John Steinbeck during 2010 and to paint and draw every day.

I read 3 John Steinbeck novels but after the greatness of the Grapes of Wrath I found it difficult to engage with some of the characters in his subsequent books.

Painting and drawing every day fell by the wayside too. I just didn't always feel like painting or drawing and guess that the lure of the paper and palette box is not as strong as I once assumed.

I have decided to review my personal goals and will do so on a regular basis. As my interests develop, my goals will be reviewed and updated as necessary.

So, my new goal is this; to identify and read 50 books from the best English Language Novels of the 20th century. I am starting with 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee. I have put no time limit on when the books have to be read by and will read them at leisure.

Have you any personal goals you want to achieve?

Back to School Biscuit Bake

Ready for when my son returns home from school: freshly baked peanut butter cookies. Recipe taken from here.

I highly recommend this book and am sure I will be making many of the pies and cookies contained within its pages.

September

Where the ripe pears droop heavily
The yellow wasp hums loud and long
His hot and drowsy autumn song:
A yellow flame he seems to be,
When darting suddenly from high
He lights where fallen peaches lie.

William Sharpe