Saturday, 23 February 2013

Angels

I don't believe in Angels.  Perhaps I should, but I can't pretend.  I do believe in the essence of spirit though be it good or bad.  I feel I have been tainted by a mystical 'unknown' this week.  I have so much self doubt and when knocked back the little voices in my head whisper 'you're not good enough' 'you're not worth it' and if I was in a more vulnerable state I would believe those voices.

Fortunately, I recognise that the voices are ingrained in me from childhood and I can choose to ignore them and carry on regardless.  So with my adult head on I venture forth with good spirits to guide me.

Edited: I know I said a couple of posts ago that I was going to be less despondent and solemn but I guess I have reverted to type.   Oh well,  c'est la vie!

Edited again!  Since typing this post earlier today, and feeling very low this evening, the word 'Angel' has been popping up all over the place.   Maybe they are there all the time and we just have to open our hearts and minds and let them in.

11 comments:

greenrabbitdesigns said...

Well I don't you have reverted to type because you have recognised the thoughts for what they are and you're moving onwards and upwards. Good for you Simone. :)
V xxx

Judy Hartman said...

Yes, I agree - that's a major step forward! Hope your 'adult head' reminds you of all the positive words your blogging friends have ascribed to you recently. You are fondly loved and respected by your readers!!
Hope you have a lovely weekend! xx

Toffeeapple said...

I must agree with those above. You have recognised the difference.

Lyn said...

Well done, you ignored the voices and you kept positive. I agree with the other comments.
Hope the coming of spring helps in the next few weeks Simone. xxx

KC'sCourt! said...

I have to agree with the above too. I too had a childhood where I was told you won't be good enough if you don't do this.......or you don't do that. I do know where you are coming from. I still remember I had to stand in the heads office when I was ten after being ridiculed by the rest of the class after being called to the heads office to be told I was not good enough for the grammer school and I shall have to go to the comprehensive, and to top it all I had to take the letter home to my parents only to be told by my mother that if I didn't buck my ideas up I would never get anywhere!
Julie xxxxxxxxx
PS I will leave it up to you if you wish to publish this comment or not.

Rosie said...

I can hear the echo of those voices from my past when other folks would say 'Who are you to know that? to think you can do that? to have been there, and etc. It is very hurtful and stays with you in the form of your own self doubt. That you have recognised that and can carry on regardless is a positive step.xxxx

millefeuilles said...

I'm holding your hand, Simone, if I may from across the Channel. Like many others I've heard those voices too whispering to me but there are things bolder and stronger than us at work and you too are learning each and every day and taking heart.

Warmest wishes,

Stephanie

ps Your pictures really are quite beautiful.

wherethejourneytakesme said...

It is amazing when a word keeps resurfacing it is like when you here a new word or a new place - I always think to myself 'take note' as there is something I need to learn or understand. I am sorry you have so much self doubt, I think we can all suffer from this at times. You have so much to offer and I hope one day you will come to see what we all see - a lovely sensitive caring person. Take care. xx

sharon said...

I often think WE are the angels, acting on behalf of those around us. Never hesitate when you hear that voice that whispers "You can help here."
Your photos are stunning, your art often whimsical and happy, your thoughts very similar to many of us kindred spirits. Take heart, Simone. You are loved, respected and admired by many, including me. When the days are darkest, come back to the light with our help, your angel pals.

Anne said...

It's so hard to banish those voices. Some days they're more persistent than others. If you can push past them or ignore them and keep doing your thing, then you can create wonders.

Catching up with your blog, I'm thinking about some of the things you wrote about the perceptions of others. I think that you being true to who you are in your blog is more authentic and real than if you tried to create a more idealized persona and that your readers will relate better to an authentic voice than an idealized one. Everyone has doubts and fears and being "in the same boat" with a beautiful and creative soul gives us a sense of community and reassurance and encouragement.

Hope you are feeling more uplifted today.

Kelly Martin said...

Hello hun, I think its good your sharing all of you, no reverting to type, you are you, we all go up and down. Hugs x