Small Changes

I have been trying to live a healthier lifestyle for quite some time now.  Little by little I have made small changes that have become routine:

Every morning I drink a glass of water first thing.

From Monday to Thursday I eat a small bowl of dried fruit and nuts instead of having biscuits or cake with a cup of tea.

I don't add sugar to my coffee

These three simple things  I feel are already having a positive impact on my physical health and well being.  As it is now second nature to do them I will be gradually adding more changes such as:

Applying hand cream before bedtime

Doing a Sunday night pedicure

Drinking more herbal tea and less black tea

........and also those that enhance my mind and spirit too including;

Creative photography

Walks in local parks

Focusing on and mastering one particular craft

Preparing blog posts in advance

Keeping a clutter free home
 
I read somewhere that it takes three weeks to make or break a habit.  It is my mission to have a happy, healthy and fulfilled life and by making these tiny accumulative changes in habits, I feel as though I am on my way there.

**********************

Feeling Lost

I have been feeling lost for such a long time now.  Apart from having my son I feel that my life has lacked purpose.  I walk a very lonely road that is void of friends and like-minded souls (apart from my blogging friends of course who add joy to my daily existence).

This week I have been thinking deeply.  Over the past few years I have neglected myself to the point that I hardly recognise the face in the mirror.  An old World weary face looks back at me and I look a lot older than the 51 years I have managed to clock up so far.  I think some TLC is in order and I am going to 'selfishly' start putting my needs before others.  A lifetime of 'compromising' has left me with little that I have truly wanted.  I know that it is good practice to compromise occasionally but not consistently.

My time at the vineyard has come to a close.  My volunteering there has lessened over the past year as I have struggled with coughs and colds and lacked the desire to weed and tend the vines.  I am just a number and there are many shoes willing to fill my space.  I thought the vineyard would offer me a connection to nature but once I got stuck into work I barely got to view the land around me.  I feel sad that I have decided to close this chapter but feel that my time there had outlived its purpose. 

This morning, on a whim, I picked up a pack of tarot cards from the bookshelf and randomly selected one.  The card I picked was 'The Pole Star'.  Here is a summary of the reading points for it:

The power of universal work is at lore here, either within the individual or permeating a web of circumstance that will bring profound change and new spiritual hope.  The Pole Star of prophetic guidance and inspirational knowledge has risen and will guide you on your forthcoming journey through the forest.  If you hold this ancient and basic truth near the core of your being and navigate by it you cannot go far wrong; it is there as a talisman as well as a symbol of the universal cycle of nature.  Whenever you are feeling lost in the dark labyrinth of life, remember that the same laws and primal matter that bind the Pole Star and fuel its giant heart also formed you.

I really needed to read those words today.  It seems that whatever journey I choose will be the 'right' one as long as I trust my instincts.

Angels

I don't believe in Angels.  Perhaps I should, but I can't pretend.  I do believe in the essence of spirit though be it good or bad.  I feel I have been tainted by a mystical 'unknown' this week.  I have so much self doubt and when knocked back the little voices in my head whisper 'you're not good enough' 'you're not worth it' and if I was in a more vulnerable state I would believe those voices.

Fortunately, I recognise that the voices are ingrained in me from childhood and I can choose to ignore them and carry on regardless.  So with my adult head on I venture forth with good spirits to guide me.

Edited: I know I said a couple of posts ago that I was going to be less despondent and solemn but I guess I have reverted to type.   Oh well,  c'est la vie!

Edited again!  Since typing this post earlier today, and feeling very low this evening, the word 'Angel' has been popping up all over the place.   Maybe they are there all the time and we just have to open our hearts and minds and let them in.