Saturday, 22 November 2014
This week I have been thinking deeply. Over the past few years I have neglected myself to the point that I hardly recognise the face in the mirror. An old World weary face looks back at me and I look a lot older than the 51 years I have managed to clock up so far. I think some TLC is in order and I am going to 'selfishly' start putting my needs before others. A lifetime of 'compromising' has left me with little that I have truly wanted. I know that it is good practice to compromise occasionally but not consistently.
My time at the vineyard has come to a close. My volunteering there has lessened over the past year as I have struggled with coughs and colds and lacked the desire to weed and tend the vines. I am just a number and there are many shoes willing to fill my space. I thought the vineyard would offer me a connection to nature but once I got stuck into work I barely got to view the land around me. I feel sad that I have decided to close this chapter but feel that my time there had outlived its purpose.
This morning, on a whim, I picked up a pack of tarot cards from the bookshelf and randomly selected one. The card I picked was 'The Pole Star'. Here is a summary of the reading points for it:
The power of universal work is at lore here, either within the individual or permeating a web of circumstance that will bring profound change and new spiritual hope. The Pole Star of prophetic guidance and inspirational knowledge has risen and will guide you on your forthcoming journey through the forest. If you hold this ancient and basic truth near the core of your being and navigate by it you cannot go far wrong; it is there as a talisman as well as a symbol of the universal cycle of nature. Whenever you are feeling lost in the dark labyrinth of life, remember that the same laws and primal matter that bind the Pole Star and fuel its giant heart also formed you.
I really needed to read those words today. It seems that whatever journey I choose will be the 'right' one as long as I trust my instincts.